GBPJPY

The products added another $89.65 million on Monday alone, marking one of their strongest sessions since launch. 🚀💸 (Note: This is not a pyramid scheme. Probably.)

He contends-oh, he contends!-that a mere handful of days of upward movement cannot unfasten the heavy chains of the market’s true nature. Such insincerity! Such delusion! How easily we deceive ourselves with whispers of recovery, as the world laughs at our futile hopes.

Cross-chain interoperability? More like cross-chain chaos! Skyline, part of the Apex Fusion ecosystem, has unleashed bAP3X on Base, the Coinbase incubator where tokens dream of liquidity. 🌍💸

Apparently, Ripple has chucked over $250 million at nonprofits and universities. That’s right, they’ve been throwing money around like a drunk bard with a pouch of gold. And why? Because they’ve joined the Pledge 1% movement, where companies promise to give away 1% of their equity, time, product, or profit to social causes. Generous? Or just trying to avoid the Auditors of Reality? You decide. 🤔💰

This minor retracement, as the eggheads call it, comes just as the bigwigs are getting their hands on XRP. Coincidence? Probably. But it does add a bit of spice to the whole affair, like a pinch of dragon’s breath in your morning tea. ☕

According to the la-di-da report from Bitwise-who clearly have a flair for the dramatic-Bitcoin’s current value is a classic case of the macroeconomic mischief, with its price as out of sync as a doorman at a bougie soirée. The current gap suggests Bitcoin should be lounging around at a dazzling $270,000, if only the market were a tad more honest. 🎩

On December 2, 2025, DOGE briefly kissed $0.14 before recoiling like a lover spurned. GreenyTrades, with the solemnity of a priest at a funeral, declared the wick below support resembled past retracements where buyers, like phoenixes, rose from the ashes. Yet he warned, “This is not a fairy tale; it’s a thriller with plot holes.” The 0.786 Fibonacci level, now a haunted house near $0.14, has historically been a stage for reversals-or at least dramatic monologues from confused traders.

While Ethereum and Bitcoin are busy losing their hair (if they had any), XDC is munching on their lunch with its utility-driven infrastructure. This is the kind of growth that makes investors think maybe, just maybe, all that talk about “utility over hype” isn’t just empty words. Top networks like Flow boast a 1097% increase-impressive, until you realize that XDC’s 34.6k active users are demanding real-world finance and enterprise solutions, not just speculative moonshots. Who needs hype when you have real use cases? 💼💰

Until now, clients were on their own if they wanted to purchase crypto. But the days of being scolded for asking about Bitcoin are over. Yes, you heard that right! Bank of America is finally allowing its wealth advisers to suggest, suggest mind you, that clients get a piece of the crypto pie. Oh, what a time to be alive! 🍰

Pi Coin (PI) is currently trading at $0.2320, which is technically a 51% increase from its lowest point this year. That’s like saying I’ve lost 51% of my will to live after watching 10 hours of crypto analysis videos. The market cap? A cool $2 billion. Let me just… check that number again. Oh wait, it’s not even close to Dogecoin’s. Yet. 🐕