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Yes, you heard that right! The Bitcoin and business intelligence (BI) whizzes over at Strategy have officially gone on a shopping spree, acquiring an additional 4,225 BTC. This monumental revelation came to us courtesy of an exuberant X post from the man himself, Michael Saylor. Let’s be real, he was practically hinting at it on Sunday by showing off his tracker with a cheeky new orange dot. I mean, who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned scavenger hunt in the world of digital coins? 🔍

According to Gerovich, Metaplanet’s Bitcoin stash started the year at under 4,000 BTC and has jumped to over 15,500 BTC by July. That leap came after the firm snapped up 2,205 more coins just last week. It’s like they’re on a Bitcoin buying spree, and the only thing that could stop them is a sudden interest in collecting stamps. This fast push into Bitcoin, funded by capital market moves and profits from its core operations, is either a brilliant strategy or a digital version of the tulip mania. 🌷

Shiba Inu, that most thrilling of meme coins, has been on a bit of a tear lately, with a 17% price increase over the past week. Its market capitalization has exceeded a cool $8 billion, making it the second-largest meme coin, don’t you know? 💸

Now, cast your nostalgic minds back to the thrilling days of yore—more specifically, the second half of 2022, where Bitcoin’s price plummeted to the rather disheveled heights of $15,000. At that time, the volume was ramping up to a jaw-dropping $3 million, which was positively bustling with traders. Fast forward to today, and we find ourselves in a bit of a pickle, as the volume has taken a decidedly leisurely stroll, remaining stubbornly below the 500K mark, despite Bitcoin making a somewhat cheeky rise to new highs. Ain’t that just the way? 🤷‍♂️

Why should you care? Well, these unlocks might lead to market volatility and could also influence price movements in the short term. So, buckle up and let’s dive into the juicy details!

Nakamoto’s now waving hello to those billionaires like Michael Dell and Bill Gates, while giving us a reminder of the power of Bitcoin—and, of course, cranking up the curiosity about who the heck this guy really is! 😏

Over the past week, Hedera’s DeFi ecosystem TVL jumped from $151M to over $215M, with DEX volumes exceeding $80M. This means more users are adopting the platform and there’s more liquidity on-chain. Yay for Hedera! 🎉

In a press release, the digital asset-operating giants revealed that they issued a staggering 6,060,607 new ordinary shares—each one valued at precisely one pence! Yes, one pence! We’re all truly stunned by this level of financial wizardry. In total, the issuance has raised £1 million—or $1.34 million in capital funding. A small fortune, no? And all of it will go straight into their Bitcoin Treasury Strategy. Because, clearly, the more Bitcoin you have, the more successful you are in life. Isn’t that how it works?

In these fleeting eight years, what a metamorphosis it has undergone! From a mere wisp of a dollar — a childish sum that would barely buy you a cup of coffee — it now struts around the market at unimaginable heights, spiraling past $700. How wonderfully ironic it is that we shall now meander through this remarkable tale, recalling the humble beginnings of a token now as cherished as a long-lost friend.

The market appears to be licking its lips rather than becoming nervous at this particular stage of Bitcoin’s ascent. The Fear and Greed Index is at a score of 74, which is still in the Greed segment. However, at Bitcoin’s current rate of climb, a move into Extreme Greed may not be far off. 🤑