Ethereum ETFs Crying All the Way to the Bank: $75M Vanish into Oblivion! 😱

It appears that Ethereum’s darling ETF, BlackRock’s ETHA, took center stage in this tragic comedy, orchestrating the entire spectacle of outflows. Poor ETH, it’s been crying for days-losing nearly $80M since December 2, with only a brief intermission when Fidelity fed it a tiny morsel of inflows of $140 million on December 3. Talk about a rollercoaster, but with fewer thrills and more tears. 🎢😭

🚀 BitMine’s $200M ETH Binge: Crash or Cash? 🌕

Blockchain sleuths (aka the intergalactic paparazzi) spotted two massive inflows to BitMine’s wallets-one from BitGo and another from FalconX-totaling over 64,000 ETH in 48 hours. The latest haul? A cool 23,000 tokens snagged on December 6 for just over $3,000 each. Because why buy one spaceship when you can buy a fleet? 🚀🚀🚀

Tom Takes on Ethereum: A Peculiar Predicament for Profits 😉 🤑

Ethereum Chart

At this symposium where blockchain and a dozen other buzzwords enjoy an open bar, our man Lee shared, rather impressively, that if the ETH/BTC ratio were to glitzyingly prance back to its eight-year average of 0.0479, Ethereum might play the trumpet to $12,000. He likened this prospective leap to a “huge move,” adding that it would be as though Gussie Fink-Nottle was declared popinjay of the afternoon at the Eights.

Coinbase’s Bold Bitcoin Prediction for December 🤔

On December 5, the US-based crypto trading platform, ever the optimist, declared that market conditions have shifted, as if the market had been on a vacation and just returned with a sunburn. They pointed to fresh capital inflows, tighter spreads, and stronger macro support-words that sound like a magician’s trick but are, alas, just numbers on a screen.

NFTs: Still a Thing? 🧐

The participation in this digital marketplace has swollen, with 490,600 individuals eager to acquire these novelties, a rise of 23.45%. A further 403,483 souls have taken to offering their own wares, an increase of 15.36%. However, the number of actual transactions has, rather disappointingly, diminished by 18.99%, amounting to a total of 1,100,748. Clearly, a great many contemplations are occurring before a purchase is made.

Bitcoin Treasury Firms Hit Rock Bottom: Premiums Crumble as ‘Darwinian Phase’ Begins

The breaking point? Well, when Bitcoin plunged from its October peak near $126,000 to a much humbler low of around $80,000, risk appetite shriveled up like a raisin in the sun. Liquidity evaporated across the market, triggering a harsh contraction. The October 10 deleveraging event didn’t help either, accelerating the chaos by wiping out open interest in futures markets and weakening spot depth. Not quite the fairy tale ending these firms had in mind, right?

The Viral T-Shirt That Sent Terra LUNA and LUNC to the Moon 🌕

The answer, as is often the case in life, lies in the absurd. Enter Ian Allison, a CoinDesk journalist, who inadvertently became the catalyst for this frenzy by simply wearing a vintage Terra Luna logo t-shirt during Binance Blockchain Week Dubai. Yes, a t-shirt. Because, apparently, fashion still dictates the fate of cryptocurrencies. 🕺