This little jaunt follows a rather cheeky breakout, with the price clearing $407 and turning that area into a support zone, which, as one might expect, is now a veritable haven for all things ZEC. The trend, dear readers, remains as bullish as a thoroughly caffeinated bull, though traders are keeping an eye on potential resistance levels, just in case the party gets a bit too wild.
On a rather uneventful Monday, Ondo Finance gleefully announced that the SEC’s nosy investigation, which began during the Biden administration (yes, the same one that loves to regulate your fun), had fizzled out like a damp squib. 🎉 No charges, just a polite “thank you for your time” note. How charming! 🧾
Ah, Bitcoin! That most peculiar of digital distractions… Cathie Wood, a lady who sees… possibilities where others see only fluctuating numbers, has graciously deigned to welcome the investors of Vanguard into the arena of this electronic curiosity. Through her ARK 21Shares Bitcoin ETF (ARKB), she extends a hand, as if to say, “Come, join the game, though its rules are understood by none!”
Now, instead of keeping your Bitcoin stash hidden in a shoebox under your bed, banks might actually help you trade, store, and maybe even stare at your crypto without losing sleep. But don’t get too excited-this isn’t the Wild West. It’s a tightly regulated playground with rules, guards, and probably some coffee breaks. ☕️
Remember when we all screamed from the rooftops for Wall Street to please, for the love of Satoshi, just notice us? Now they’re here – BlackRock, Fidelity, the whole suit-and-tie gang – and guess what? We, the OG bag-holders, the degens who braved Mt. Gox and “HODL” grammar, are ghosting the on-chain scene like an awkward Tinder date. 🎭
It seems Robinhood Markets, Inc. (NASDAQ: HOOD) – a name that evokes images of daring heroism which, frankly, feels a bit much for a trading app – has decided to acquire a couple of Indonesian firms: PT Buana Capital Sekuritas and PT Pedagang Aset Kripto. December 8th, they announced it, with the usual air of optimistic proclamation. The plan? To bring equities and, naturally, cryptocurrencies to the masses. More precisely, to the 19 million capital market investors and 17 million crypto investors already existing in Indonesia. This is, one assumes, because they weren’t being adequately served before.
Ether…yeah, it’s a thing. It’s at a “turning point.” Everything’s always at a turning point. The experts (and I use that term loosely) are saying there are “technical indicators.” You know, lines on a chart. As if that predicts anything. Two of them, intersecting. Very scientific. 🙄
And instead of choosing a side, the crowd is choosing to embrace both, thereby creating a most perplexing conundrum. 😅
Jerome Powell, the current chair, will end his term in May 2026, like a weary actor leaving the stage, while Trump, ever the drama queen, prepares to announce a successor, according to U.S. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent. 🎭
According to the protocol, this new layer-1 network is “designed for stablecoin transactions.” How quaint. It relies on Tether’s USDt for gas fees, as if the poor souls who once dared to use volatile assets were too weak to handle the burden of real choice. 🤡
