GBPJPY

“Don’t worry about China, it will all be fine!” he typed, presumably while eating a Big Mac and contemplating his next golf course. “Highly respected President Xi just had a bad moment.” Oh, just a bad moment, huh? Like when you accidentally wear mismatched socks, but with trillions of dollars at stake. 🧦💸 Trump assured us that the U.S.A. wants to help China, not hurt it, which is rich coming from the man who once called tariffs his “favorite word.” 🗣️🤡

The galactic demand for tossing around digital coins like confetti has emboldened major exchanges such as Coinbase to revisit those arbitrary spending limits. The illustrious CEO, Brian Armstrong (not to be confused with any other Armstrong-type figures from history or above-the-clouds stories), mentioned on social media platform X on Oct. 11 that Coinbase was about to conduct a little underground experiment in going big or going home.

The global cryptocurrency market cap has apparently been lifting weights, gaining $170 billion in just 24 hours. A $170 billion gain-because why not? This surge, of course, is not just Bitcoin flexing. Oh no, it’s a full-on recovery rally with all the big players jumping in on the action.

Ah, the crypto world-a realm where scandal blooms like a noxious flower. A sleuth of the blockchain has fingered Garrett Jin, the former über-captain of the now-sunken SS BitForex, as the puppeteer behind a Hyperliquid whale. This behemoth commands a staggering 100,000 BTC, a sum that would make even Croesus blush. Jin, you see, is no stranger to controversy, having helmed BitForex during its ignominious descent into fraud and ruin. What a charming résumé! 🎭

Let’s face it – since July 11, bitcoin miners have been watching their profits dwindle away like snow melting on a spring morning.

Cobbled together with Bisq 2’s Java magic for a jolly compatibility caper, this beta is more chummy with the buyers – sellers, you can poke around if you dare, but don’t whine if backup-and-restore plays dead on you, you wily critters. It packs in those saucy mobile bits we’ve teased, like Tor on the sly, cheeky message notifications, auto-reconnect hocus-pocus, multilingual jabber (English, Spanish, Italian, Russian, Czech, and German, because why not confuse everyone equally?), plus error-handling that won’t leave you scratching your noggin like a bewildered goose. The clever-clogs team beckons the village idiots – er, I mean community testers – for bugs and howls, promising more seller-centric tomfoolery in the offing, because nothing says “trust” like ongoing adventures in code chaos. 😏🐛

While the price has shown early signs of stabilization near $2.4, the market remains fragile and highly sensitive to further macro developments. Which is to say, if someone sneezes, XRP will probably faint. 🤢

Pretend grandpa’s in jail. Or the IRS is hunting your dog. Or Elon just texted you from paradise. 🐶💸 Scammers, those modern-day circus clowns in digital masks, dress up as saints-family, cops, angels with Wi-Fi-and whisper sweet nothings like, “Quick! Run to the magic money box!” And off you go, cash in hand, feeding it to a cold metal beast that turns your life savings into internet dust. ✨🚫

Chain trackers and security soothsayers reported that the mischievous address, 0x0cdC…E955, saw its treasure chest emptied of about $21 million. Most of it-17.75 million DAI-vanished like candy in a candy shop, along with a curious 3.11 million of a mysterious token named MSYRUPUSDP 🍬. Quite a mouthful, isn’t it?

Could it be that these crypto enthusiasts, sources murmured cryptically, failed to substantiate their ethereal gains, shrouding their digital treasure troves in offshore wallets? It seems they neglected to declare the virtual baubles amassed through trading virtual digital assets (VDAs) to the meticulous gaze of the tax authorities. Acting on strategic behests from the Central Board of Direct Taxes (CBDT), investigative units dispersed across Indian metropolises have, a source enlightened us, been instructed to submit their painstakingly compiled reports by the 17th of October.