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The Financial Times whispers that Mr. Trump and his Treasury Secretary, Scott Bessent – a name that sounds suspiciously like a minor character in a Dickens novel – will be having a little chat with former Fed governor Kevin Warsh this Wednesday. But don’t get attached to Mr. Warsh; administration “sources” (those ever-reliable creatures) suggest Kevin Hassett is the favorite. And that, my friends, is causing a bit of a flutter in the markets. Like a sparrow noticing a hawk.

Darlings, Tempo’s darling development team has flung open the doors to its public testnet, inviting anyone with a modicum of ambition to waltz upon it. This, my pets, is the first milestone since this payments-focused L1 chain sashayed into the spotlight earlier this year. 🌟

The move, fueled by targeted buying in the meme-coin complex, came as the broader market rallied. DOGE, ever the underdog, showed relative strength into the close. But can it hold? The breakout sets up a clean continuation zone-provided the bulls, those fickle beasts, defend the mid-range pivot they so recently reclaimed. 🛡️

Forsooth, what was once the domain of the common folk, eager to partake in the novelty, is now increasingly governed by the whims of grand institutions. These ‘ETFs’, as they are called, do amass considerable fortunes, whilst the activity on the blockchain itself, where the true spirit of Bitcoin resides, dwindles like a candle in the wind. A most peculiar spectacle, indeed! It moves, yes, but with a grace and a participation most unlike that of cycles past. 🤔

This delightful farce underscores the ever-present truth that cryptocurrency markets are less “financial revolution” and more “Wild West saloon,” where social media accounts are the swinging doors any bandit can kick open. Security experts, those tireless detectives of the blockchain, followed the hacker’s digital breadcrumbs like bloodhounds chasing a sausage thief.

“Trump Billionaires Club,” they’re calling it. A game for “true Trump fans,” naturally. One can only imagine the level of avid devotion required. There’s a waitlist, and joining it offers a chance to snag a share of that aforementioned million. Jolly good.

Opened up Tuesday at a mere $10.74, considerin’ Cantor was closin’ Monday at $14.27. A slippery slope, if you ask me. By Wednesday, they’d sunk to $11.42 – almost a fifth gone! Makes a body wonder if folks are startin’ to suspect these here “crypto” things ain’t quite the gold rush they were promised. 🤔

According to the snoops at Arkham Intelligence, Amber Group and Metalapha waltzed off with 9,000 Ether. That’s enough to make a pirate blush! 🏴‍☠️ Why? Oh, they’re “setting up custody” or “long-term holding” or so they claim. Yeah, right. We’ve heard that one before. Last time they said that, they sold it all for a yacht and a lifetime supply of caviar. 🐟