GBPJPY

Meanwhile, Alpha Drop—who clearly enjoys mixing metaphors—spotlights a classic cup-and-handle formation, which sounds like something you’d order at a fancy cafe but is actually a sneaky pattern hinting at a breakout. With FLOKI hanging around $0.0001041, down 2.79% in the last 24 hours—because what’s life without a little volatility?—traders sit on the edge of their chairs, cursed with the mystery: Will this token reclaim its bullrun or slip a little lower, maybe into the charming support zone of $0.000093 to $0.000085? It’s showtime, folks! 🎭🐕

Let us indulge in comparisons, as Krüger so graciously does. Recall, dear reader, the grand crash of August 2024—when Japan hiked rates without warning, jobs vanished quicker than pelmeni at midnight, and the terrified multitudes all dashed for the exit like Moscow’s theatre crowd hearing ‘fire!’ A different cause this time, but, oh, the mechanics of panic! Identical, like twins swapping hats. Yet, Krüger reassures us—by next Monday, surely, the market shall discover a “local bottom.” (Where? Has anyone checked under the divan?) He’s positioned long before America’s opening bell, showing either immense confidence or the same optimism as a bureaucrat who believes paperwork can bring happiness.

Mind you, the EVM isn’t just wires and code—it’s every hope, argument, and moonshot hustle baked into Ethereum since birth. It’s the mule everyone loves to complain about but can’t imagine loading a wagon without. So talk of swapping it out for RISC-V, a plucky open-source instruction set that seems tailor-made for tinkerers and mad scientists, sent a nervous current through the shantytown digital frontier.

This surge in open interest, a curious dance of hope and despair, whispers of a potential rebound, though one might question whether it is the market’s optimism or sheer desperation that fuels this spectacle. 🕵️‍♂️

In a gesture of peculiar modern patriotism, the Plan B consortium—ever eager to blend civic pride with blockchain fervor—erected this marble homage to Bitcoin’s ghostly patriarch last October. Little did they know, the specter of absurdist art theft was afoot! 🎭

The layers of disappearing stripes were only empty ground where the illusion of Satoshi, the pseudonymous creator of Bitcoin, fading into code stood since late 2024. It was unveiled on October 25, 2024, at Plan B’s Bitcoin forum, as Swiss-Tether and Lugano raced to brand the city a global Bitcoin hub. Because, you know, Bitcoin needs a physical presence… or a statue… or something 🤷‍♂️.

In the meantime, Ripple Labs is out here expanding like it’s a startup on a caffeine drip. Corporations and even the US government (yes, you heard that right) are scrambling to add XRP to their digital portfolios like it’s the hottest thing since sliced bread. You know, just a casual attempt to balance their treasuries. Nothing to see here.

Viewed in the weekly light (which, let’s be honest, flickers like a Soviet lamp), XRP’s collapse beneath $3 feels less like a surprise and more like the universe muttering, “Did you really expect better?” With a single candle’s red glare as its testimony, bearish divergence hovers above the chart—if you looked any closer, you’d smell the borscht of inevitability. More downside? Sideways tedium? Either way, those dreaming of riches are left to ponder the virtues of patience… or resignation. 🤷‍♂️

Tradition, Atkins argued, is like last year’s winter coat: worn, dusty, inherited from one’s grandfather, and deeply incompatible with blockchain. “We will not do what we always did,” howled Atkins, waving a copy of securities law circa 1933, which promptly disintegrated into dust. America, he insisted, would by sheer force of will become lord and proprietor of distributed ledgers—whether the rest of the world was ready or not, or whether anyone asked for it in the first place. 🇺🇸✨