You Won’t Believe What Bitcoin Did Next: Crypto’s Wild Ride Through Bureaucracy & Banter!
Enter Ethereum (ETH), always eager to prove it wasn’t just somebody’s feverish dream. ETH rocketed past $3,700 for a wispy moment before remembering it hasn’t paid rent on hope in years and politely sliding back to $3,671-earning almost 4% and a pat on the back from sympathetic uncles at the crypto club. Meanwhile, Ripple (XRP), doggedly climbing to $3.05, practically rented a brass band to celebrate crossing the sacred $3 threshold-if only anyone noticed. Solana (SOL) dizzily aims for $170, Dogecoin (DOGE) grins through its whiskers at $0.206, Cardano (ADA) and Stellar (XLM) clamber up in solidarity, while Hedera (HBAR) and Toncoin (TON) prefer to sample the delights of the gutter. Such is the grand parade. 🥁