Kraken Pauses Monero Deposits: 51% Attack or Just a Squidgy Squabble? 🐙💰

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Kraken, the tentacled titan of crypto trading, has slammed the brakes on Monero (XMR) deposits faster than a wizard running from a tax collector, all thanks to a reported 51% attack on the privacy-loving blockchain. 🦑🔒

Apparently, this is just a “precautionary measure” to protect users, they say. Right. Because nothing says “safety first” like halting deposits while trading and withdrawals waltz on like nothing’s wrong. 🕺💸

Monero’s XMR Moonwalks Upwards Despite the Drama 🎢🚀

Kraken’s watching the situation “closely,” they claim, like a gnome eyeing a suspicious pie. Deposits will resume once the network’s as stable as a dwarf on a bender. 🧙♂️🍰

This kerfuffle’s got everyone asking: How resilient is Monero’s network, really? And is its mining decentralization just a fancy hat on a pig? 🐷🎩

Monero, for the uninitiated, is the cloak-and-dagger of cryptocurrencies, hiding sender, recipient, and amount like a master assassin in a crowd. Perfect for those who prefer their transactions as traceable as a Discworld footnote. 🔍✨

On August 14, Qubic, an AI-based crypto protocol with delusions of grandeur, claimed it had grabbed Monero’s hashing power by the tentacles, a.k.a. a 51% attack. 🤖⚡

A 51% attack, for the less nerdy among us, is when a miner or pool grabs enough power to double-spend coins or rearrange transactions like a librarian with a grudge. 📚🔁

Qubic boasted it reorganized six blocks and orphaned sixty others during its alleged two-hour reign, mining 80% of the network’s blocks and pocketing 750 XMR and 7 million XTM. 🤑💼

But the Monero community wasn’t having it. They hit Qubic with a DDoS attack faster than a troll under a bridge, while critics scoffed that Qubic never even sniffed 35% of the hashrate. It was just selfish mining, they said, not full-on domination. 🧌🛡️

Sergey Ivancheglo, Qubic’s founder, insisted the incident proved the need to keep miners under 25% hashrate. Because nothing says “security” like a good old-fashioned power struggle. ⚖️🔒

According to Mining Pool Stats, Qubic’s still the top Monero miner, controlling 2.04 GH/s of the 6.00 GH/s network hashrate. Big fish in a slightly murky pond. 🐟🌫️

Despite the drama, Monero’s XMR price shot up 10% in 24 hours, hitting $264. Because nothing says “confidence” like a cryptocurrency that thrives on chaos. 📈💪

The surge has XMR back to pre-attack levels, proving that investors either have nerves of steel or just really love a good show. 🎭💼

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2025-08-17 12:31