Oh Jack, always one step ahead 🤷♀️. Who needs a magic trick when you can turn dollars into Bitcoin with a tap? Cash App’s latest move is either genius or a cry for help-no one’s sure yet. 🤡
His fintech firm now lets you send USD through the Bitcoin Lightning Network, so merchants get Bitcoin even if you’re just a broke college student who’s never owned a crypto. It’s like a gift card… but for people who think they’re Wall Street. 🎁
Here’s more!
Cash App’s New Feature Explained
Previously, Cash App users could only pay in Bitcoin. Now? You can use your regular cash balance (AKA the money you were supposed to save for rent) to send payments that magically convert to BTC for the receiver. It’s the Lightning Network, which is Bitcoin’s “faster and cheaper” Layer 2 system. Sounds like a scam, but hey, it’s Jack! ⚡
This rollout followed a soft launch on social media, because nothing says “I’m a crypto genius” like dropping a tweet. It’s a big step for Bitcoin payments-or as I call it, “trying to make me care about crypto again.”
Timing is everything, though. Bitcoin’s use as a payment coin has dropped like my hopes for a functional budget. Stablecoins are the new black, apparently. 😬
oops
– jack (@jack) November 12, 2025
Cash App Expands Beyond Bitcoin
Cash App is now adding stablecoins-its first move beyond Bitcoin since 2018. A spokesperson said they’ll support “multiple stablecoins and networks,” but details are as clear as a crypto whitepaper. 🤷♂️
“Cash App is, and always will be, bitcoin-first by design,” said Miles Suter, Bitcoin product lead at Block. “We see stablecoins as a complementary option for our customers and an improvement from legacy fintech payment rails.” Translation: We’re still trying to figure it out. 🤔
This puts Cash App in a head-to-head with PayPal, which launched its own stablecoin in 2023. Because nothing says “trust” like a company that once tried to sell a “buy now, pay later” credit card. 💳
Lightning Network Gets a Real Test
The Lightning Network, launched in 2018, has been hyped as the future of crypto payments. Now it carries over $500 million in liquidity. Let’s hope node operators aren’t all retired bankers with clipboards. 📋
By integrating Lightning into a popular app, Cash App is giving the tech a real-world test. Or, as I like to call it, “praying to the crypto gods.” 🙏
Cash App’s AI Assistant and Other Updates
Cash App also rolled out Moneybot, an AI assistant that helps you manage spending. “We’ve built Moneybot to learn each customer’s habits,” said Cameron Worboys. Great-now my robo-therapist knows I spend $300 a month on avocado toast. 🥑
The app also launched Cash App Green (because nothing says “eco-friendly” like paying interest on a loan) and expanded Borrow to 48 states. Because why not? 🤷♀️
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2025-11-13 15:52