Oh, great! US April inflation did a little jig at 3.8% year-over-year, while wages were like, “Uh, we’ll just stretch to 3.6%.” Thanks, Iran war energy shock, for making our wallets cry into their overpriced lattes!
But fear not, my financially frightened friends! Bernstein, the wise wizard of Wall Street, says Figure Technology Solutions (FIGR) is the unicorn in this economic dumpster fire. They’re slapping a $67 price target on it, promising a 72% upside. Because, you know, blockchain and tokenization are like the superhero capes of the financial world.
Q1 results are in @Figure / $FIGR . We’re a Rule of 140 company, which I am proud of bc it captures our ability to scale rapidly but also very efficiently. Our blockchain loan marketplace started the year with record origination volume, our DeFi ecosystem is growing faster than my uncle’s waistline at Thanksgiving, and…
– Michael Tannenbaum (@MBTannenbaum) May 11, 2026
Energy Shock: The Never-Ending Sequel
Headline US CPI rose 3.8% in April, beating the 3.7% consensus like it was a piñata at a kid’s birthday party. Wages? Oh, they’re just standing in the corner with a 3.6% participation ribbon. For the first time in three years, Americans are like, “Wait, my paycheck is shrinking? But I still need avocado toast!”
INFLATION NOW OUTPACING PAYCHECKS
Inflation is once again rising faster than wages, putting Americans under growing financial pressure for the first time in about three years. Consumer prices climbed 3.8% over the past year, while wages rose just 3.6%, meaning many workers are…
– *Walter Bloomberg (@DeItaone) May 12, 2026
Energy CPI rose 3.8%, and food prices climbed 0.5%. Gasoline? Oh, it’s at $4.50 a gallon now, up from $3.14 last year. President Trump’s solution? “Let’s just pretend the gas tax doesn’t exist for a while.” Genius!
JUST IN: Trump announces plans to suspend the federal gas tax “for a period of time.” Because, you know, temporary fixes are the best kind of fixes.
– Polymarket (@Polymarket) May 11, 2026
Plastics and manufacturing costs are rising faster than my blood pressure at a family reunion, thanks to Iran war supply disruptions. And beef import tariffs? Still hanging around like that one guest who won’t leave the party.
Markets: The Drama Never Ends
The Bank of Japan is like, “Rate hikes? Sure, let’s do it in June!” Meanwhile, UK 30-year yields are having a midlife crisis, hitting their highest level since 1998. Because why not add a little more chaos to the mix?
BREAKING 🚨: United Kingdom
UK 30-Year Yield soars to its highest level since 1998 📈🤯👀
– Barchart (@Barchart) May 12, 2026
Hot inflation is the Fed’s new excuse to delay rate cuts until 2026. Dollar strength and bond yields? They’re the villains in this economic thriller, putting the squeeze on risk assets.
“While April CPI inflation rose to 3.8%, inflation is much higher in many basic necessities. This has driven cumulative inflation since 2020 to +29%, meaning goods that cost $100 in 2020 now cost $129 today. Inflation remains a major issue for Americans,” analysts at the Kobeissi Letter said, probably while crying into their overpriced coffee.
The S&P 500 is still up 8.3% year-to-date, because apparently the market hasn’t gotten the memo about the apocalypse.
Bernstein’s Gautam Chhugani is all like, “FIGR’s blockchain loan platform is the immune system of the financial world!” Q1 tokenization volumes rose 113% year-over-year to $2.9 billion. Because who needs macroeconomics when you’ve got blockchain?
Whether inflation sticks around like that one relative who overstays their welcome or eases up with an Iran ceasefire will determine how much the Fed tightens this summer. And whether Bernstein’s macro-immune tokenization thesis holds. Spoiler alert: it’s probably going to be a wild ride.
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2026-05-12 21:21