Well now, if you thought Wall Street was tricky, just take a gander at what the Trump kin are up to with American Bitcoin – a little enterprise they claim holds a mite under $4.5 million in shiny digital gold. And wouldn’t you know it, their stock has been shootin’ up faster than a fox in a henhouse!
This outfit aims to stay ahead of the game through their “minin’ operations” and what they call the “Trump Bump” – which, for all I know, might be a fancy way of sayin’ they’re gambling in the crypto wild west. But in these uncertain times, makin’ plans long-term is about as easy as catchin’ a greased pig at a county fair.
A Trump Family Bitcoin Hoard
Now, President Trump’s shenanigans have sent the crypto world into a tizzy, but his kin’s business escapades tend to be a tad less dramatic – more of a poker game than a rodeo. Still, they’re cashin’ in hand over fist.
The Trump family, as it turns out, has been rakin’ in a fair share of coin from their various ventures. And American Bitcoin’s latest exploits are no exception:
And we are just getting warmed up! Incredibly excited about $ABTC and what we are buildin’ – – Eric Trump (@EricTrump) October 27, 2025
According to their grand press release, they’ve snatched up 1,414 BTC since September – which brings their total stash to 3,865. At today’s prices, that’s nearly 4.5 billion bucks! That’s enough to make even old Scrooge McDuck jealous.
Eric Trump keeps hollerin’ that they plan to keep buyin’ Bitcoin until the cows come home. Why not? When you’re sittin’ pretty on a mountain of digital dough, might as well double down.
Old Profits, New Fears
The firm’s only been around for a handful of months, but with Trump’s backing, they’ve struck gold quicker than a prospector in California.
Since the big announcement, their stock has been climbin’ like a cat up a tree, up about 20% in just five days. That said, today’s publicity stunt only added more fuel, makin’ their value jump yet again:
Most of that treasure trove comes from their buyin’ sprees, but their minin’ operations have also kept the boat afloat – or at least, afloat enough in rough seas.
While many of these digital treasury outfits are strugglin’ under the weight of regulatory burdens and finance worries, the “Trump Bump” and their minin’ hustle might just keep American Bitcoin from sinking entirely.
Then again, the whole sector’s a bit of a madhouse, with legal troubles and market swings comin’ at ’em faster than a lightning strike. But for a Trump family venture, I’d reckon they’re used to dancing in the rain, chaos and all.
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2025-10-27 22:46