How a Misunderstood Trade War Gave Crypto $550 Billion: Trump’s Tweeted Disaster

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On the 10th of October, as if we needed another reason for market chaos, President Trump, in his usual diplomatic style, announced a threat of 100% tariffs on China. Naturally, this sent crypto markets into a tailspin, with investors quaking at the thought of yet another U.S.-China trade debacle. Stock markets plummeted, crypto prices took a nosedive, and trillions-yes, trillions-vanished into thin air. The S&P 500 saw a loss of $2.5 trillion, while crypto suffered its largest liquidation ever, a staggering nine times the previous record. How charming.

Whales and Leverage Unleash Absolute Havoc

Ah, the drama began at precisely 9:30 AM ET, just before Trump’s oh-so-timely tariff tweet at 10:57 AM ET. As always, the big players, or “whales,” had already set up their short positions, ready to feast. By 4:30 PM ET and 4:49 PM ET, one particularly savvy whale had bought over $23 million in shorts. Can we all agree this sounds like a strategy made for a Netflix documentary?

It was a veritable bloodbath as longs were liquidated at a 7:1 ratio to shorts. Over 80% of the 1.6 million traders who were liquidated had leveraged long positions. Shorts were dumped into the 5:20 PM ET low, only to result in a dramatic V-shaped rebound. Because why not add a little thrill to the day?

And then came the pièce de résistance: the first-ever $20,000 Bitcoin candlestick, leading to a $380 billion drop in market cap-only for it to bounce back like a rubber ball. The market has its own sense of humor, doesn’t it?

A Misunderstanding Between Trump and Xi (Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Miscommunication?)

Ah, the source of all this pandemonium? A *misunderstanding*. Truly, what better way to fuel the flames of a global crisis than a simple mix-up? It all began with China’s announcement of rare earth export rules on October 9. Contrary to what Trump assumed, these rules were not a complete ban, but a set of conditions that companies could easily meet to export. But why let details get in the way of a good crisis?

Trump, in his infinite wisdom, interpreted this as a full halt on exports and immediately threatened tariffs. Naturally, China wasn’t thrilled at this and issued a critique, only to later clarify that the rules weren’t as dire as Trump thought. Oh, the sweet, sweet irony.

Trump, ever the voice of reason, reassured the masses with the words, “Don’t worry about China, it will all be fine! Highly respected President Xi just had a bad moment. He doesn’t want depression for his country, and neither do I. The U.S.A. wants to help China, not hurt it.” And just like that, panic was confirmed to be nothing more than a tragic miscommunication. Truly, what a *marvelous* world we live in.

Crypto Recovers, And So Do Our Wallets

But fret not, dear reader, for the crypto market has begun its magnificent recovery. With a total market capitalization now reaching a humble $3.82 trillion (up a modest 1.75%), over $550 billion has miraculously returned to crypto since the bottom at 5:30 PM ET. Truly, a *whopping* return, if I do say so myself.

Bitcoin is now trading above $115,000, up over 3% in the past 24 hours, while Ethereum has shot up to $4,171, a nearly 9% increase. Even other altcoins, such as BNB, XRP, and Solana, are enjoying their own little booms. It seems that even a catastrophic misunderstanding between two world leaders can’t keep crypto down for long.

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2025-10-13 10:39