Just when you thought the Federal Reserve would be as calm as a sleeping porcupine, their minutes erupted with the kind of hawkish fervor that would give a flock of angry starlings a run for their lives.
In the most thrilling crash course in economic philosophy yet, the April 28-29 meeting left bankers trembling with the taste of bitter chocolate, suggesting that enthusiasm for interest‑rate easing has formally retired to the archives.
Four Dissents, A Raucous Debate About Middle Earth and Inflation
The council pointed to a stew of inflationary risks-energy prices, tariffs, and the geopolitical turbulence of the Middle East-like a bouquet of artisanal herbs in an otherwise bland dish.
While the room decided to keep the tax on borrowing at 3.50%-3.75%, the conversation revealed a fissure twice as deep as the rift between the Hitchhiker’s Guide authors.
The four dissenting views-the highest since 1992, and half the fun of a Vogon poetry reading-were a swirl of dissent.
Stephen “Cabin Fever” Miran beggared the idea of dialing back with a 25‑basis‑point cut, warning that the economy might become as stuck as a spacecraft in a nebula if it becomes too restrictive. Beside him, Beth “No‑Easing” Hammack, Neel “Do‑Not‑Relax” Kashkari, and Lorie “Lolly‑Europolis” Logan all stood opposed to any suggestion that the Fed might consider easing in the future. They argued that keeping the language of potential easing open was like leaving a portal wide enough for the Krill to walk through.
Observers finished the note seed with a stellar warning: if inflation expectations loosen their grip, they might “de‑anchor” like a satellite that forgot its geosynchronous slot, buffeted by market winds.
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2026-05-20 21:16