ETH to $7.6K? Really? 🙄

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So, they’re saying Etherium is doing…something? Like, making a shape? An “inverted head and shoulders,” whatever that is. Apparently, it means $7,600. And…supply is low? Like, really low. Apparently that’s good. I don’t know, it sounds like a lot of hoping to me. 🤷‍♂️

Ether…yeah, it’s a thing. It’s at a “turning point.” Everything’s always at a turning point. The experts (and I use that term loosely) are saying there are “technical indicators.” You know, lines on a chart. As if that predicts anything. Two of them, intersecting. Very scientific. 🙄

Some guy on X – Bitcoinsensus, naturally – claims this “inverted head and shoulders” thing is happening. $7,600 is the target. It’s a… “reversal construction.” Okay. Look, I’ve seen reversals. Mostly in my life choices, not with crypto. This apparently happens across “several time frames.” As if time cares about crypto.

Bulls Preparing for…What, Exactly?

They need “confirmation.” Of course they do. Nothing’s ever certain. It needs to “push beyond the neckline.” And have “volume.” The volume! It’s always about the volume. It sounds exhausting, frankly. But once it does, it’s “good.” Vague, but good.

They rattled on about a left shoulder (2024), a head (2025) -it’s like crypto is trying to grow a body – and a right shoulder. Apparently, less downside risk! That’s…reassuring? I’m still not convinced. The “rising lows” mean people aren’t selling…yet.

They have a “calculation” for this $7,600 target. Based on “the distance between the head and the neckline.” As if that’s how the real world works. And it’s going to “produce sustained moves”. Yeah, right.

Supply is…Low? Who Knew?

Now, apparently, there’s not much Etherium sitting on exchanges anymore. Just 8.7 percent. That’s the lowest since 2015! Big deal. So? Does that mean I can finally get a decent bagel? 🥯

Source: Coin Bureau on X (whoever that is)

People are “staking” it and using “layer-2 bridging.” Listen, I get confused just hearing those terms. Tokens are getting moved around…to places where they won’t be sold. Smart. Very smart. It’s all about making it harder to actually use the thing, apparently. Bitcoin holds 14.7 percent. So Ethereum had a bigger contraction. Woohoo. 🎉

You might also like: UK Makes Ethereum Legal Property – While Futures Quietly Surge. What do they even do with it?

Liquidations? Sounds…Messy.

Some other person, 3orovik-context (another X “expert”), is talking about “liquidations.” Billions of dollars. Lost. October was bad. Like, really bad. Worse than the COVID crash. Worse than FTX. I’m starting to think I should just stick to cash. 💸

Source: 3orovik-context on X (who is probably laughing at us)

Apparently, it’s “almost 20 times” as much as the COVID panic. Good to know. And the FTX thing took 8-9 weeks to recover from. We’re at seven weeks now… so, any day now, it will mysteriously fix itself! It is giving “healthier market structure”. Positive vibes! They say.

This 3orovik-context guy predicts a pump in 2026. Conveniently far enough away that he won’t be held accountable. Lower leverage and tightening supply equals “good conditions.” And the “technical patterns” back it up. Right. Okay. Sure. I have a bridge to sell you, too.

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2025-12-09 06:56