El Salvador’s Golden Gambit: $50M on Bling, Bitcoin, and Banter

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Darling, gather round! The Central Reserve Bank (BCR) of El Salvador, in a move as dramatic as a Coward curtain call, has flung $50 million at the altar of gold. Yes, my dears, the second such spree since 1990-how utterly decadent!

This, of course, comes as gold is having its moment in the sun, darling-up nearly 20% this year. Macroeconomic theatrics and geopolitical tantrums have investors clutching their pearls and their bullion. How très chic.

El Salvador’s Encore in the Gold Opera

In their latest aria, the BCR trilled about acquiring 9,298 troy ounces of gold, a tidy $50 million. This follows their September 2025 performance, where they snapped up 13,999 troy ounces for the same price. Bravo! The total? A staggering 67,403 troy ounces. One can only imagine the vault’s gleam.

The bank, ever the dramatist, described gold as a “universally strategic reserve asset”-a phrase so grand it could only be uttered with a martini in hand. Apparently, it bolsters financial stability, shields the economy from global market histrionics, and dazzles investors. How utterly reassuring.

“The Central Reserve Bank of El Salvador declares this second acquisition a triumph of prudence and panache, darling,” the announcement cooed.

We just bought this other dip 😂

– Nayib Bukele (@nayibbukele) January 29, 2026

And let’s not forget El Salvador’s crypto escapades, darling. Their Bitcoin reserves now stand at 7,547 BTC, a cool $635 million. Crypto pioneer? More like crypto prima donna.

Gold Fever: The World Catches the Bug

El Salvador’s golden dalliance comes as the world is in a tizzy over bullion. The National Bank of Poland, never one to miss a trend, plans to amass 700 tonnes. China, ever the enigma, added 10 tonnes in November-or was it 270? Goldman Sachs whispers the latter. How deliciously cryptic.

“Assuming official purchases were 10% of what China is actually buying, this suggests China acquired +270 tonnes of physical gold in 2025. China is stockpiling gold like we are in a major crisis,” The Kobeissi Letter quipped, with a wink and a nod.

Even Tether, darling, is in on the act, adding 27 tonnes in Q4 2025. One to two tonnes a week, they say, aiming for a 10-15% portfolio allocation. Tokenized gold? Oh, it’s all the rage, with whales splashing about in Tether Gold (XAUT) and Paxos Gold (PAXG).

At press time, gold was trading at $5,176, down 4% as US-Iran tensions rattled markets. Commodities, equities, cryptocurrencies-all quivering like a debutante at her first ball. How utterly exhausting.

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2026-01-30 11:46