Oy vey! So, two shlemiels – Kaden Lopez and Delbert Carver, may their mothers worry – have been arrested for allegedly flingingā¦ well, let’s just say *personal items* during WNBA games. And who’s behind this meshugge nonsense? A group calling themselves the “Green Dildo Coin” (yes, you read that right) folks! š Honestly, the name alone is enough to give a rabbi a heart attack.
Five times! Five times they launched theseā¦ accessories onto the court! Mostly green, apparently, because green means ‘go up’ in the crypto world. Nu, so what? Are we running a botanical garden or a basketball game? It happened last time on Thursday in Chicago, can you believe it?!
This Daldo Raine, the ringleader – he calls himself the ringleader! – he told USA Today itās a ālighthearted protestā against influencers and scammers. A protest, you say? With that? It’s like protesting taxes by wearing a polka-dot suit! It’sā¦ itās just silliness!
A 3rd dildo has just dropped
– Jakenheimer (@jakenheimer5) August 6, 2025
They say the green color is to show ‘upward price action.’ I thought upward price action required, you know, *actual investment* and notā¦ flying phallic objects! š¤Ŗ It’s like trying to launch a rocket with a rubber band and a prayer.
And now theyāre talking about āmore tastefulā pranks? Oy gevalt! What’s next? Sending carrier pigeons with tiny hats? I’m starting to think these crypto guys are just trying to see what they can get away with. A little chaos for the sake of chaos!
Two alleged sex toy throwers arrested
So, these two mugs. Lopez saw it on social media and thought, “Hey, let’s throw aā¦ thing!” Carver got arrested in Georgia, facing charges for being a nudnik and disrupting a perfectly good basketball game. You think they got a discount on theā¦ merchandise? š¤
WNBA expresses outrage
The WNBA players and coaches are, understandably, not amused. Lynne Roberts, the coach of the Los Angeles Sparks, called it “ridiculous, dumb, and stupid.” And she’s right! It’s a safety hazard! Imagine getting bonked on the head by one of these things! The horror! š± They’re saying itās a sign of disrespect. Well, I should think so!
And Raine shrugs it off. Shrugs it off! Like itās nothing! He says it’s not meant as disrespect. Listen, pal, if it looks like aā¦ well, you knowā¦ and it flies onto a basketball court, itās probably disrespectful. It’s basic logic!
This isnāt new, by the way. Apparently, someone threw one at a Patriots game in 2018! What IS it with football and basketball andā¦ these objects?!
Memecoin market down from peak
And now, the grand finale: the memecoin market is tanking. It’s down nearly 45%! The launchpad, “Pump.fun” – a terrible name, by the way – is losing money hand over fist. š Maybe if they spent less onā¦ flinging thingsā¦ and more on, I donāt know, actual value, theyād be better off. But what do I know? I’m just an old man yelling at clouds andā¦
flying objects.
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2025-08-08 08:43