Oh, joy. Apparently a bank with a tiny $5.7 billion (yes, with a “B,” darling) in assets has decided the stock market gods have chosen tech to be showered with riches for years. (Why do these banks never pick sectors like “expensive shoes” or “wine”? Just asking.)
Enter stage left: Dan Ives, Wedbush Securities’ global head of technology research, a man who probably dreams in binary and eats AI for breakfast. He tells CNBC, with great seriousness and probably a slightly smug smile, that the tech sector is basically off to the races. Meanwhile, the rest of us are still waiting for our smart fridge to recognize avocados. 🥑
“I believe we’re only in the second inning of a nine-inning game,” Ives declares, presumably while fiddling with a baseball bat he keeps on his desk for dramatic effect. “It’s just started to play out from use cases. I think as we go into the consumer and ultimately what’s going to be autonomous and really the derivatives.” Translation: robots will not just steal your job-they’ll invest better than you, too.
“In my view, in the next two to three years, we have a tech bull market and the AI revolution, the actual impact over the medium and long term is actually being underestimated.” (Or maybe overestimated, depending on whether your toaster starts sending you threatening emails.)
Apparently, demand for tech wizardry is up by a whopping 30% to 40% compared to a few months ago. Yes, actual humans are fighting over the scraps of virtual startups. And jargon alert: Ives calls the tidal wave of new spending “the fourth industrial revolution.” So if you missed out on the other three, good news! The revolution will not be televised-it’ll be streamed, coded, and annoy you with crypto ads.
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2025-08-20 18:27