Crypto Winter Comes Early: Billion-Dollar Bitcoin Exodus Begins!

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Institutional investors have apparently decided that Bitcoin is the financial equivalent of a soggy teabag, selling $1.7 billion worth of crypto in a single week. CoinShares, the oracle of numbers, reports this with all the excitement of a librarian discovering a book on how to fold a towel. It’s as if the market’s been hit by a giant with a money-shaped snow cone, determined to melt everything in sight.

The outflows are so evenly matched with last week’s that it’s like a seesaw operated by two toddlers who’ve never heard of the word “fair.” Year-to-date inflows, once a proud number, have now been reduced to a net outflow of $1 billion. If money had feelings, it would be filing for divorce from the crypto market right about now.

Assets under management? They’ve plummeted $73 billion since October 2025 highs. Wait, October 2025? That’s a date so far in the future it might as well be written in invisible ink. Either the market’s time-traveling stockbrokers are on strike, or someone’s calculator is malfunctioning.

CoinShares blames the gloomy mood on whale selling (because nothing says “confidence” like a four-year cycle), geopolitical volatility (read: grown-ups arguing over dinner), and questions about the Federal Reserve. If the Fed were a character in a Discworld novel, it’d be a nervous squirrel with a clipboard, muttering about interest rates.

The U.S. led the exodus with $1.65 billion in outflows, which is either a record or a tragic typo. Canada followed with a polite $37.3 million goodbye, Sweden at $18.9 million (bringing a plate, presumably), and Switzerland sneaking in $11 million in inflows like a guest who forgot they were supposed to leave. Germany added $4.3 million, because even in a crisis, they’re still trying to pay their share.

Bitcoin, the golden goose of crypto, lost $1.32 billion in outflows-enough to buy a small island and name it after your least favorite uncle. Ethereum, ever the sidekick, coughed up $308 million. XRP and Solana, meanwhile, are just there for the snacks. Solana’s $31.7 million loss? That’s the price of looking like a tech startup that thinks blockchain is just a fancy hairdo.

Short Bitcoin products, however, are thriving, gaining $14.5 million. Year-to-date assets are up 8.1%, which is like betting against the tide and winning because the ocean forgot to show up. Hype products, boosted by tokenized precious metals, pulled in $15.5 million. Because nothing says “future” like turning gold into a PDF and selling it to a robot.

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2026-02-02 21:53