Crypto Freakout Over Iran Shutting Hormuz Strait is Hilariously Overblown

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Markets

What to know:

  • Crypto Twitter is shaking in its digital boots about Iran shutting down the Strait of Hormuz, a key oil shipping route, causing oil prices to skyrocket to $120-$150. Hold onto your keyboards!
  • Experts claim that a full closure of the Strait is as likely as your grandma starting a TikTok dance challenge. Oil prices might spike, but it’ll be more like a speed bump than a full-blown crash.
  • If World War III happens, markets will panic-and bitcoin might just take a dive. No surprise there.

As tensions flare between Iran, Israel, and the U.S., crypto social media (a.k.a. X or Crypto Twitter) is losing its collective mind over the possibility of Tehran shutting down the Strait of Hormuz. They fear this could send oil prices soaring and destroy global markets, including poor little bitcoin.

But hold on to your crypto wallets-some experts say the panic might be way overblown. In fact, it’s practically a drama-filled soap opera that no one asked for.

Early Saturday, Israel and the U.S. launched airstrikes on Iran, targeting nuclear facilities and missile sites after diplomatic talks fizzled. Iran wasn’t thrilled and retaliated by firing missiles at Israeli and U.S. bases in the region, escalating fears of a full-fledged war. Cue dramatic music!

Meanwhile, the crypto market is the only place where investors can freak out and make impulsive decisions while traditional markets are taking a nap over the weekend.

Bitcoin, that glittering cryptocurrency unicorn, dropped from $65,600 to $63,000 before rising back to $65,000. Oil-linked futures on Hyperliquid saw a hefty 5% spike. All this drama for a minor blip in the system!

Hormuz Fears

The Strait of Hormuz, which is about 21 miles wide at its narrowest point, is crucial for global oil shipments. In 2024, it facilitated 20 million barrels of oil every single day, according to the U.S. Energy Information Administration. That’s a lot of oil, folks.

But let’s not start panicking just yet. Crypto accounts on X (the new Twitter) are convinced that Iran could close the Strait and stop all that oil from flowing. What a plot twist!

“If a direct conflict between the United States and Iran happens, this isn’t just geopolitics, it’s a global economic event. If the Strait of Hormuz is threatened, oil could spike to $120-$150,” said one dramatic X user named @Crypto_Diet. Oh, please, settle down.

This could cause an inflation shock, market meltdowns, a dollar surge, and make currencies in emerging markets cry for mercy. But is it likely? Let’s be real, folks-probably not.

Geopolitical experts have their own opinions, of course. “Oil prices were already climbing before the strikes. Iran’s in OPEC, and Hormuz is where 20% of global oil passes,” said Velina Tchakarova, a geopolitical strategist. Well, thanks for the update, Velina!

And guess what? Some news outlets are already reporting that oil majors are halting shipments through the Strait. That’s great, but it’s just another day in the “as the world turns” soap opera of global finance.

Outright Closure Unlikely

Some people, though, are having none of this drama. They argue that Iran closing the Strait is like trying to slam a door that’s too big to shut. Literally, it doesn’t work that way.

According to Daniel Lacalle, an economist and fund manager, Iran produces 3.3 million barrels of oil per day, but only exports half of that. And most of it goes to its pal-China. Iran shooting itself in the foot by closing the Strait? Not a good idea.

Lacalle insists that OPEC could step in and offset any potential disruptions, and let’s not forget the U.S.-the world’s top oil producer. Any price spike would likely be small and brief. Take a chill pill, everyone.

Now, for the real plot twist: Geography. The shipping lanes in the Strait are mostly in Omani waters, not Iranian ones. Iran’s side is too shallow for big oil tankers, while Oman’s side is perfect for the job. So, ships could still pass through, making Iran’s closure less impactful than crypto Twitter thinks.

“Most waterways are in Oman, not Iran,” said Dr. Anas Alhajji, an energy market expert. And guess what? The Strait has never been fully blocked, not even during wars. It’s too wide and too well protected. So, take that, doom and gloomers.

Long story short: The odds of Iran shutting the Strait and causing a global oil shortage? Pretty slim. But, if World War III happens, all bets are off, and bitcoin might plunge faster than your grandma’s TikTok career.

In the meantime, bitcoin’s chart is still showing signs of a bear market, as the Middle East crisis deepens. Oh joy.

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2026-02-28 18:44