Crypto Chaos: $1.94B Vanishes Faster Than Larry’s Patience 😱💸

So, digital asset funds lost $1.94B in a week. Bitcoin led the exodus with $1.27B-because who needs money when you can have drama? 🤡💰

Apparently, investment products (fancy term for “gambling with emojis”) saw $1.94B in outflows last week. That’s $4.92B in four weeks-the third-largest outflow since 2018. Bitcoin took the biggest hit at $1.27B, and Ethereum cried with $589M in outflows. 🥲📉

Crypto Funds Bleeding Out, Bitcoin Takes the Crown for Worst Week Ever 🎭

Coinshares Research says this is the fourth week of outflows in a row-$4.92B total, or 2.9% of AuM. Proportionally, it’s the third-worst since 2018, only beaten by March 2025 and February 2018. AuM dropped 36%, but hey, at least 2023 saw $44.4B in inflows. Silver linings, people! 🌦️💎

Related Reading: Bitcoin News: Bitcoin Community Boycotts JP Morgan Because Why Not? | Live Bitcoin News

Last Friday, there was a tiny $258M inflow-like a bandaid on a bullet wound. After seven days of outflows, it’s the financial equivalent of “it’s not you, it’s me.” 😬💔

Bitcoin drove most outflows ($1.27B), but then bounced back with $225M on Friday. Short Bitcoin is still hot, with $19M in inflows-because who doesn’t love betting against the king? 🤴🎰

Ethereum lost $589M, but recovered $57.5M on Friday. Solana lost $156M, but XRP gained $89.3M-because XRP is the cockroach of crypto. 🪳✨

Market Jitters Cause Mass Withdrawals, U.S. Leads the Panic Parade 🇺🇸🚨

Global outflows hit $2B-the biggest weekly exit since February 2025. Bitcoin lost $1.38B, Ethereum $689M. The U.S. accounted for 97% of outflows ($1.97B), while Germany said “hold my beer” with $13.2M in inflows. 🇩🇪🍻

CoinShares’ James Butterfill blames U.S. money policy and interest rate jitters. Plus, crypto “whales” decided to sell like it’s Black Friday. 🐳🛍️

Despite the chaos, crypto funds still saw $44.4B in inflows this year. Long-term investors are either geniuses or masochists-you decide. 🤓💪

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2025-11-24 18:37