Citrea Mainnet: Bitcoin’s Desperate Cry for Attention

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Citrea, like a street performer desperate for coins, has flung open its mainnet curtains, promising to turn Bitcoin from a digital mattress into a circus of lending, trading, and whatever else the crypto clowns demand.

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– Citrea (@citrea_xyz) January 27, 2026

At launch, Citrea proudly presents cBTC-because Bitcoin-backed assets are always a hit-and ctUSD, a “stablecoin” that will surely remain as stable as a drunk tightrope walker.

Citrea insists cBTC uses “zero-knowledge proofs” and BitVM-based verification, which sounds impressive until you realize it’s just another way to say “trust us, maybe.” Fraud can be challenged, but only if someone honest is still awake-good luck with that.

Alongside these digital trinkets, Citrea’s mainnet arrives with over 30 “Bitcoin-secured” apps, including decentralized exchanges and lending services-because what could possibly go wrong?

Stablecoin Liquidity: The Comedy Continues

To spice things up, Citrea introduces ctUSD, a “Bitcoin-native stablecoin” issued by MoonPay-because nothing screams “decentralization” like involving a middleman. Available everywhere except New York (because of course), it’s “designed with institutional compliance in mind,” which is corporate-speak for “please don’t sue us.”

Citrea also rolled out a dashboard so users can track their assets-or, more likely, watch them evaporate in real time. More features are promised, pending the survival of the project past Q1.

Citrea’s grand vision? To make Bitcoin “a more active financial platform,” because clearly, the world was begging for Bitcoin to start acting like every other overhyped blockchain.

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2026-01-28 07:14