Ah, the theater of finance! Behold, dear reader, the latest farce unveiled by the intrepid sleuth ZachXBT, whose nose for nonsense rivals that of a bloodhound on a trail of spilled borscht. In a spectacle more absurd than a nose-less mayor’s ball, Circle, the purveyor of the USDC stablecoin, stands accused of napping while thieves waltzed away with a cool $420 million since 2022. What a delightful slumber, no?
Dubbed the “Circle $USDC files,” this X thread is a tapestry of 15 cases where Circle’s vigilance was as present as a ghost at a séance. One might say they were busy counting sheep-or perhaps, counting the seconds until the next heist.
Circle’s $420M Regulatory Nap: A Comedy of Errors
Consider the most recent folly: the $285M Drift Protocol exploit, a domino spectacle that toppled 20 Solana-based projects like so many drunken Cossacks. Circle, ever the procrastinator, took a 6-hour siesta while the hacker laundered USDC with the finesse of a Parisian pickpocket. Bravo!
In another episode, $3M of the $16M pilfered from SwapNet languished in the hacker’s wallet for two days. Law enforcement and private entities begged for a freeze, but Circle, ever the indifferent spectator, declined. After all, why act when one can observe the chaos with detached amusement?
And who could forget the Lazarus Group, those North Korean virtuosos of cybercrime, who absconded with $1.5 billion in the Bybit hack of February 2025? While Tether sprang into action with the zeal of a hound on a fox’s trail, Circle took a leisurely 24 hours to stir. A true masterclass in procrastination!
One witty observer, Luke Cannon, remarked on the irony of Circle’s inaction: “It’s literally free money if they freeze! But no, let’s watch the hacker dump USDC and let market makers redeem it. What a splendid strategy!” Ah, the wisdom of hindsight, served with a dash of sarcasm.
The inaction is extra mind-boggling because it’s literally free money if they freeze
Get to sit on the reserves for a few more months as the legal process plays out, vs the hacker dumps the USDC & it gets redeemed by market makers
– Luke Cannon (@lukecannon727) April 3, 2026
Regulatory Farce in the Crypto Bazaar
Circle joins the ranks of crypto’s rogues’ gallery, alongside Binance and the Trump-adjacent World Liberty Financial, both accused of Iran-linked shenanigans. What a motley crew! One wonders if they exchange tips on regulatory evasion over tea and cucumber sandwiches.
This scandal casts a shadow over Circle’s trustworthiness, particularly given that USDC is the second-largest stablecoin globally. Their vaunted compliance engine, built in 2024, appears to have rusted in the garage. Perhaps they should consider a tune-up-or better yet, a complete overhaul.
And so, dear reader, we leave you with this thought: in the land of crypto, where fortunes rise and fall like the tides, vigilance is a virtue-unless, of course, you’re Circle. Then, a nap will suffice.
Read More
- Brent Oil Forecast
- Gold Rate Forecast
- Silver Rate Forecast
- EUR ILS PREDICTION
- ETH PREDICTION. ETH cryptocurrency
- USD ISK PREDICTION
- Is Pi Network’s Price About to Take Another Dive? 🤔📉
- Bittensor’s TAO: Will It Leap Over $300 or Trip on Its Own Hype?
- Aave V4 Gets Unanimous Approval: What This Means for Ethereum Lending!
- Ant Group’s “ANTCOIN”: Will It Conquer Crypto? Find Out What’s Next!
2026-04-03 22:36