News from the far reaches of the financial galaxy: Celsius Network has embarked on its third foray into cosmic generosity, dispatching a staggering $220.6 million into the gaping maws of creditors. The funds are part of a reorganization plan so long, it’s rumored that in the delay of reading it, you could watch a neutron star go supernova. 🌌🚀
- Celsius launched its third payout on Aug. 20, sending $220.6M to creditors – because what’s better than owing $220.6M?
- Total recovery now stands at 64.9% – not much of a leap, more of a moonwalk.
- Some lucky creditors will also get equity in Ionic Digital, because why not throw in some techy value with your wild card investments?
On the oh-so-enlightening date of Aug. 20, Celsius announced (to some immediate and others, perhaps through a time-delayed messaging device) the commencement of its third distribution, amounting to a cool $220.6 million. Total recoveries are meandering at a 64.9% of creditor claims, bringing up the rear like an overly cautious duckling in a storm.
This round of distributions includes both cryptocurrency and cash (maybe the digital kind is easier to transport in your brain anyway) and is being channeled through a whole intergalactic network of platforms such as Coinbase, PayPal, Venmo, and Hyperwallet.
Celsius will begin a third distribution of $220.6 million to eligible creditors. For more details about this and nothing else, check your interstellar echo sensors.
– Celsius (@CelsiusNetwork) August 19, 2025
The reorganization plan, concocted at the whim of 98% of creditors in 2023 (perhaps they all consoled each other with the phrase, “At least it’s not worse”), plans an eventual recovery of 67%-85%. Meanwhile, the mining arm of Celsius might just gift a few creditors stock in Ionic Digital Inc., because investing in mining makes everything (including the legal fine print) sound far less ominous.
Should you find yourself in the company of those deemed ‘eligible creditors’, you shall be required to update your info through the official claims portal to avert delays – while others may lag behind due to the current legal and regulatory typhoon.
The Journey from Collapse to Partial Recovery
What began as a routine collapse in July 2022, Fahrenheit-style (because Celsius is just too mainstream), spiraled out of control, much like a badly imagined doomsday plot, thanks to shaky financial antics and an apocalypse-inducing market crash. Celsius’s peak saw it peddling promised annual returns of up to 18% – a number so charming, it’s best associated with freshly baked éclairs rather than investment portfolios.
The 2022 meltdown, augmented by their dalliances with Terra-Luna and the spectacular ∞ of Decentralized Finances, tossed Celsius into the chaotic abyss of Chapter 11 with a $1.2 billion deficit. Because of this lavish expenditure, known endearingly among those with short memories as ‘customer funds’, the platform had to freeze withdrawals like a glacier did mid-meltdown.
The resulting financial freefall led to the loss of billions, a regulatory rundown, and quite a few legal jailable jobs. Despite being past the midpoint of repayments, many creditors have expressed their discontent, stating that it feels a lot like “getting mildly allayed.”
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2025-08-20 11:13