Cryptonews

Yes, during a recent podcast that no one will ever accuse of being *too* dramatic, Morehead admitted he once looked at Saylor’s strategy the way most of us look at a flat Earth map: with utter confusion. “Wait, you’re telling me companies are stuffing their balance sheets with Bitcoin and making billions? Like, intentionally?”

In another scene of cautionary despair, XRP affirms its union with Bitcoin in a death cross-an ominous convergence much like the infamous Siberian crossroads. The XRP now languishes at 0.00002247 BTC. Behold the price: XRP sits quietly at $2.49 as Bitcoin demonstrates its cryptic $111,000 composure.

This audacious maneuver could usher in an era where Americans’ retirement savings are no longer confined to the predictable drudgery of stocks and bonds, but instead dabble in the chaotic, ever-shifting realm of digital assets. The bill, a mere page long, seeks to transform a fleeting executive order into an ironclad federal law, as if the fate of the nation hinges on whether Bitcoin can be tucked into a 401(k).

Between October 10-11, XRP convulsed on Binance as though torn by the fates themselves, shedding 54% in a single candle-a feat that would make even the most stoic trader weep for liquid silk. The liquidation of a million positions, dear reader, was no mere storm but a deluge. A day’s worth of hubris dissolved into a $19.3 billion elegy. The blame, first, danced to the tune of President Trump’s tariffs-a 100% levy on Chinese tech, which rattled the delicate nerves of global commerce. But let us not mistake theatre for truth. The deeper wound bled from Binance’s “Unified Account” system, its flaw a veritable Promethean spark for the coming inferno. 🌪️🔥

The new office, the first of its kind in the United States (a distinction about as meaningful as being the tallest man in a kindergarten class), promises to “promote responsible blockchain innovation,” attract talent, and bolster New York’s status as a hub of financial technology. Or perhaps it will simply attract men in hoodies who talk about “decentralization” while sipping $18 almond milk lattes. Time, that eternal jester, will tell.

Ver, a pioneer who got Bitcoin off the ground faster than most of us get out of bed on a Monday, has agreed to fork over up to $49.9 million to resolve US tax evasion and mail fraud charges, according to the DOJ – because apparently, blockchain can’t hide everything forever. The agreement is like a “please don’t send me to Alcatraz” card, kicking the can down the road with some serious cash. ⏳💰

Following months of litigation, GXD Labs, an affiliate of Atlas Grove Partners, and VanEck, which manages approximately $161.7 billion in assets, finalized the agreement through the BRIC, which has been overseeing recovery operations in the Celsius estate since January 2024. 🤡✨

This alignment suggests that Dogecoin isn’t about to rocket into a bubble just yet, but rather it’s entering a “calmer accumulation phase.” Translation: It’s the cryptocurrency equivalent of waiting for your bread dough to rise. Who doesn’t love a good slow-burn recovery, am I right?

By the Omnian, Q3 2025 was the kind of quarter that makes accountants weep with joy and cryptobros high-five their screens. According to a report by Cex.io-who, let’s be honest, probably had to upgrade their abacuses-stablecoin supply ballooned by $45 billion, an 18% leap that brought the total market to a whopping $300 billion. That’s more money than you’d find in a dragon’s hoard, and probably less fire-breathing involved.

Anchorage Digital Bank, that self-proclaimed “only federally chartered digital asset bank” (their words, not mine), has heroically rescued USDtb from the wilds of offshore chaos. Now, under the watchful eye of the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC), this stablecoin parades its freshly scrubbed reputation like a debutante at a blockchain ball.