Friday, my dear reader, witnessed the most spectacular liquidation event in crypto’s brief but oh-so-dramatic history. The scale of this deleveraging, a veritable financial earthquake, is best grasped by examining open interest (OI) – the total value of those futures and perpetual contracts hanging precariously in the balance.
The reason for this frenzy? The impending launch of their own trading platform, a beacon of promise in the murky waters of decentralized finance. 🌊 The crowd whispers of a new Altcoin Season, as if such things were ordained by the gods themselves. And lo, Bitcoin Hyper, still in its presale infancy, awaits its moment to bask in the reflected glory. 🍼✨
On-chain data, that digital parchment of truth, suggests Bitcoin’s journey is but a breath from its crescendo. The Cycle Peak Countdown, that most pious of algorithms, proclaims 99.3% completion. Ten days remain until October 24, 2025-a date etched in the stars, or perhaps in the ledger of a desperate day trader. 📅✨
Surprise, surprise-SHIB has gained 3% in the last 24 hours. It’s almost like watching a turtle winning a race. Slow, but sure? Or just lucky? 🐢💸
This little cooldown, my dear readers, is more like a spot of profit-taking than a full-blown trend reversal. Those clever on-chain and technical signals (oh, the wizardry of it all!) hint that sellers are losing their grip, setting the stage for another glorious ascent-if CLO can hold its ground at one crucial price level. 🛡️
Lucas described JPMorgan’s approach as an “and” strategy, balancing existing financial infrastructures with the emerging opportunities of blockchain. A delicate dance, if ever there was one. 💃🕺
This elusive midpoint, nestled between last week’s dramatic support/resistance tango, is now the cryptocurrency’s most important accessory. Should Bitcoin cling to it like a chandelier earring, the next hurdle is the 0.75 Fibonacci level-$117,605, where the bears, armed with pitchforks and pessimism, will attempt to gatecrash the bullish parade. But if you manage to stay above this golden line, my dear, the stage is set for a V-shaped recovery so audacious, even the market’s emotional support hedgefund managers will weep into their champagne flutes. “Max pain for the weak-willed,” our analyst quips, as if discussing a particularly dull play.
A wallet associated with LuBian, a Bitcoin mining pool that got hacked in 2020 like it was the weakest link on a Monday night, moved BTC on Wednesday, ending three years of being dormant as a doorknob. 🤡
Governor Gavin Newsom, in a moment of rare clarity, signed Senate Bill 822 (SB822) into law, declaring that crypto assets are not to be treated like loose change found in a couch cushion. 🛋️💸 No, these intangible treasures, these digital relics of the modern age, shall be preserved in their original form, untouched by the greedy hands of automatic liquidation. Senator Josh Becker, the bill’s sponsor, must be basking in the glow of his triumph, though one wonders if he truly understands the labyrinthine depths of the crypto world he has dared to navigate. 🧐
Beyond the glittering shards of individual cryptocurrencies, the company dares to dabble in the fates of stocks such as COIN, CRCL, GOOGL, and MSTR-each a pawn in a grander chess game of market whimsy. One might ask, “Why not 6x?” But let us not spoil the party with questions.
