Ah, the audacity! 😱 Sam Bankman-Fried, the crypto wunderkind turned convicted felon, is now playing the victim card. He claims the Biden administration targeted him for his generous donations to the GOP 🎉. Because, you know, that\’s exactly what happens when you\’re a billionaire trying to buy influence in Washington.
With the NVT Ratio soaring to 287, it seems Dogecoin’s value is more inflated than a balloon at a clown convention. 🎈🤡
Binance, that indefatigable titan of crypto, is at last poised to reclaim its throne in the South Korean market, a drama that has dragged on longer than a Victorian novel. 📈📅
Ethereum struggled (again) to settle above $4,200 and, in true crypto fashion, corrected most of its gains. It’s like watching a movie where the hero keeps tripping over their own feet.
This whole kerfuffle started back in November 2023 when they first waved around the idea in a discussion paper, like tossing a bone to a bunch of yapping mutts. By September, the industry groups were yapping louder than ever, fussing that these limits would snuff out innovation like a pair of garden shears cutting through someone’s mulberry bush dreams.
Naturally, the oracles of the crypto world are predicting a doubling of Ether’s value before the year’s end. As if simply predicting such a thing will make it so. Humans. So easily fooled by their own desires.
“I once suspected that our dear DOGE would languish and retrace to that comforting 0.5 of wave 1, a notion not without its merit, only to find it sauntering instead to the realm of 0.382-oh, the audacity!” the illustrious Cat mused. “And now? It appears to beckon back to 0.618, an embrace of the divine.” Yes, dear reader, wave 3 could very well be upon us-an impetuous surge laden with bullish fervor, rendering all previous expectations mere trifles.
Let me put it all together now, making sure each part is infused with humor and sarcasm, and the title is clickbait and under 100 characters.
This jolly jig coincided with Bitcoin’s stubborn perch near $110,000, evoking a resilience that mocks the tempestuous seas of gain, thus infusing the mining mob with a pulse of unfounded bravado. Behold, the collated worth of these listed alchemists has now vaulted beyond $90 billion – twice the trifle of August, because why not inflate our egos along with our portfolios? 😂
