At this symposium where blockchain and a dozen other buzzwords enjoy an open bar, our man Lee shared, rather impressively, that if the ETH/BTC ratio were to glitzyingly prance back to its eight-year average of 0.0479, Ethereum might play the trumpet to $12,000. He likened this prospective leap to a “huge move,” adding that it would be as though Gussie Fink-Nottle was declared popinjay of the afternoon at the Eights.
But here’s where things get interesting, folks-this little setback has created the perfect buying window, and guess who’s jumping in? That’s right, the whales. 🐋
On December 5, the US-based crypto trading platform, ever the optimist, declared that market conditions have shifted, as if the market had been on a vacation and just returned with a sunburn. They pointed to fresh capital inflows, tighter spreads, and stronger macro support-words that sound like a magician’s trick but are, alas, just numbers on a screen.
The participation in this digital marketplace has swollen, with 490,600 individuals eager to acquire these novelties, a rise of 23.45%. A further 403,483 souls have taken to offering their own wares, an increase of 15.36%. However, the number of actual transactions has, rather disappointingly, diminished by 18.99%, amounting to a total of 1,100,748. Clearly, a great many contemplations are occurring before a purchase is made.
The breaking point? Well, when Bitcoin plunged from its October peak near $126,000 to a much humbler low of around $80,000, risk appetite shriveled up like a raisin in the sun. Liquidity evaporated across the market, triggering a harsh contraction. The October 10 deleveraging event didn’t help either, accelerating the chaos by wiping out open interest in futures markets and weakening spot depth. Not quite the fairy tale ending these firms had in mind, right?
The answer, as is often the case in life, lies in the absurd. Enter Ian Allison, a CoinDesk journalist, who inadvertently became the catalyst for this frenzy by simply wearing a vintage Terra Luna logo t-shirt during Binance Blockchain Week Dubai. Yes, a t-shirt. Because, apparently, fashion still dictates the fate of cryptocurrencies. 🕺
“So, let me break it down for you,” Lee said, probably while adjusting his PowerPoint slides. “Ethereum is the future of finance, darling. It’s like the little black dress of the crypto world-timeless, versatile, and about to dominate your wardrobe.” He then compared 2025 to Ethereum’s “1971 moment,” because nothing says innovation like a 50-year-old analogy. 💅💸
In the hallowed halls of X, where self-proclaimed sages gather to prognosticate, one Ali Martinez, a man of questionable sanity and boundless optimism, has unveiled the secret to Dogecoin’s salvation. According to the arcane art of Glassnode’s Cost Basis Distribution, the zone around $0.20 is a veritable treasure trove of tokens, hoarded by investors with the tenacity of a squirrel in a nut factory. 🐿️
Trump’s first year in office? Let’s just say it’s been a rollercoaster. After that initial burst of “I won!” euphoria, his approval ratings have dipped to the high 30s. By October, polls were all over the place, and November? Well, let’s just say he’s not exactly the people’s favorite anymore. NPR/PBS/Marist, Gallup, and Reuters all had him between 36% and 39%. Classic. You win an election, take the oath, and suddenly you’re the most hated person in America. Groundbreaking.
Surprise, surprise! Just when you thought Solana was cruising on a smooth ride, we’ve hit a bumpy patch. The US Spot ETF that had been basking in the glory of inflows is now backpedaling faster than your ex at a reunion. The latest data from Sosovalue reveals a rather shocking $32.19 million withdrawal. This marks the largest outflow since the product launched in October 2025, and let’s just say, this was not the plot twist anyone saw coming. 😱
