Cryptonews

On Monday, 21Shares unveiled two physically backed ETPs for each cryptocurrency, complete with Ethereum staking features and a shiny new reduced fee of 0.1% for select products. CEO Russell Barlow declared, “Today’s launch represents a landmark step for the UK market and for everyday investors who, for years, have been excluded from regulated crypto products.” Translation: “Hey, it’s about time you were invited to the party, you poor souls.” 🤷‍♂️

BTC’s price jig has perked up around the weekly curtain, giving hodlers a jolly good pat on the back-could a short squeeze be lurking like an unwanted aunt at tea time?

Funding rates? Negative six days outta seven. Currently at −0.004%. The market’s got more doubt than a vegetarian at a BBQ. Every uptick just makes the shorts pile on like lemmings at a cliff party. But hey-every short’s a future buy order if the price keeps pirouetting upward. 🐹

Inmitten des kryptischen Nebels, der den Markt bisher verhüllt hat, tun sich XRP und Solana hervor wie zwei unerschrockene Helden im Märchen. Während die großen Namen wie Bitcoin und Ethereum weiterhin unter einem düsteren Wolkenhimmel hängen, zeigen diese beiden Altcoins frische Optimismus-Signale. Und das Ganze basiert auf einer Strategie, die nach dem berühmten 25-Delta-Risk-Reversal benannt ist. Klingt kompliziert, oder? Aber keine Sorge, wir machen es einfach: Wenn Händler bereit sind, mehr für Calls zu bezahlen als für Puts, bedeutet das, dass sie fest an einen Preisanstieg glauben. Die Risk-Reversals für XRP und Solana steigen – und das ist ein deutliches Zeichen dafür, dass Investoren wieder an die Aufwärtsbewegung glauben!

Enter Haseeb Qureshi, the dragonfly managing partner (sounds like a bizarre superhero), who spotted this clandestine comeback on X. No fanfare, no announcements – just Aster popping up like that ex who ghosts you then shows up at your door uninvited. He pointed out massive black holes in the historical data and cheekily asked the elusive 0xngmi if these figures are now “legit” or just smoke and mirrors. Bah.

In a not-so-surprising twist of events, HTX has rolled out the Sail Together initiative, which will sail through until November 15. This initiative promises to give crypto traders (regardless of platform or region – yes, it’s global, folks!) up to 5,000 USDT in loss-rebate airdrops. Because nothing says “we care” like handing out digital currency after a massive market wipeout.

In a soliloquy posted on the digital stage of X (where he masquerades as “Fede’s intern,” a nom de plume as whimsical as it is enigmatic), Carrone confesses that while Paradigm has birthed “valuable things” for the community, its growing influence is a specter that haunts his cryptographic dreams. “Profit and influence,” he intones, “are the twin sirens of corporate desire, luring the unsuspecting into the rocky shores of centralization.” 🤑

It appears that over the past seven days, Bitcoin’s price dipped a modest 2.09%, as revealed by Coingecko’s unerring charts. Meanwhile, the safe-haven Gold smirked upwards by 4.85%, and the risk-loving Nasdaq 100 Index rose by 1.34%. What a charmed existence, if you ask me!

Enter our hero, ZachXBT, the blockchain detective with a nose for trouble. He sniffed out the trail, through 120 swaps, a real jumble! But alas, the loot was gone, faster than a hiccup, into the dark corners of Tron and Huione’s lair. 🕵️♂️🔍

So, it’s happened again. Michael Saylor, the ever-optimistic executive chairman of Strategy (formerly known as MicroStrategy-because rebranding is clearly a thing), is teasing yet another Bitcoin purchase. Yes, despite the market behaving like a rollercoaster on a caffeine binge, Saylor remains totally unshaken. The company’s net asset value (NAV) might be taking a hit, but hey, who needs NAV when you have over 640,000 BTC, right? 😅