After a weekend rebound from the humble depths below $104,000, analysts are now waving tiny red flags, warning that weak derivatives activity and looming U.S. inflation data could make Bitcoin act like a toddler on a sugar rush-chaotic and unpredictable.
Coinbase Markets, in its infinite wisdom, took to its official X account (yes, that’s still a thing, apparently) to share that trading for OMNI-PERP contracts had been officially suspended on not one, but two of its platforms. Truly a glorious day for crypto traders everywhere. 🙄
But Mert wasn’t done. Oh no, he had a sneaky plan. He whispered, “What if ZEC is the real Bitcoin? The one Satoshi secretly wished for?” And guess what? He had proof! Back in 2010, Satoshi himself (yes, the mythical crypto wizard) admitted on a forum that if zero-knowledge proofs were ever practical, Bitcoin could be “much better and easier.” Spoiler: He had no idea how. 🤷♂️✨
“I frankly didn’t see Echo being sold to Coinbase,” Cobie confessed on what used to be Twitter, now called X-because, why not?-with a laugh that echoed somewhere between irony and resignation. “But here we are: Coinbase bought Echo. Who would’ve guessed? Certainly not me, and I’ve seen some odd things in crypto.”
Oh, BNB, the token everyone loved for discounts on Binance fees (who wouldn’t love that?), took a nasty 3.3% dive over the last 24 hours. It started out all comfy at $1,117, but in no time, it was spiraling down to a meager $1,063 before limping back to somewhere just below $1,080. Yikes. 🥲
So, SIMD-0266: Efficient Token Program is basically the superhero Solana didn’t know it needed but definitely deserves. Anza, the mastermind behind this proposal, claims it’ll make token creation on Solana as smooth as a hot knife through butter. And by “smooth,” I mean 98% more compute resource economy. Like, finally, someone’s thinking about the blockchain’s waistline! 🍑
The deal? A mix of cash and Coinbase stock, because who doesn’t love a good crypto cocktail? 🍸 This move is all about Coinbase flexing its muscles in the blockchain-native capital markets and early-stage token offerings. Watch out, Wall Street-crypto’s coming for your lunch! 🥪
Whispers fluttered through the crypto corridors on October 10, like the soft rustling of a thousand digital coins, about Coinbase’s massive NFT purchase. Was it true? Could it be? A decision of such monumental proportions must have been… carefully considered, one would assume.
Dogecoin had a rough weekend, slipping 3% as the big institutional players decided to bail out. They weren’t having any of it-selling pressure near $0.20 was like a brick wall, preventing any kind of breakout. Meanwhile, the world outside kept throwing stress around, making traders defensive across alt markets. Yay. 🎉
VanEck, that paragon of financial innovation, has flung open the SEC’s door with a registration statement for the “VanEck Lido Staked ETH ETF.” Should this charade of compliance be approved, it would birth the first U.S. ETF referencing stETH. A fund that, with all the subtlety of a bear in a tutu, offers regulated exposure to Ethereum staked via Lido protocol. A bridge between DeFi and traditional finance? Mon Dieu, what could possibly go wrong? 🌟