Cryptonews

Sushi’s (SUSHI) recent antics are a masterclass in technical theater. The $0.73 level, a bastion of confluence, has proven as resilient as a Nabokov protagonist’s ego. The golden pocket retracement, that siren of continuation, whispers promises of upward trajectories, while the POC, with its voluminous allure, ensures the bulls are anything but starved for attention. 🕺

Whale activity is suddenly in full swing, Exponential Moving Averages (EMAs) are toying with the idea of crossing bearishly for the third time, and critical price levels are hanging by a thread. All signs point to potential short-term downtrend-especially for traders hoping to ride the next wave of volatility. Grab your surfboards, folks, it’s going to be choppy.

So here’s the deal: Capitalise.ai lets you turn your random thoughts into fully automated trading strategies. Yes, you can now type out your ‘I feel like Bitcoin is going to explode’ text and *boom*, it becomes a strategy. You can use it for everything from equities (fancy stocks), crypto (because, duh), FX (that’s forex, for those not in the know), futures (no one really gets these), and options (the stuff people try to pretend they understand). Kraken is integrating this tech into Kraken Pro later this year, so now you can test and automate strategies without writing a single line of code. Yeah, remember that whole “learn coding to be cool” phase? Yeah, forget that. Now, you just type. It’s real-time trading with no real-time work. Shannon Kurtas, Kraken’s Head of Exchange (yeah, that’s a thing), says it’s all about democratizing access to high-end trading tools. Like, just the average Joe can be a crypto genius now. The founders of Capitalise.ai, plus their techy folks, are hopping over to Kraken to make this whole thing even better. It’s like a match made in techie heaven.

Thanks to this piece of regulatory wizardry, Gemini can now legally shuffle crypto around in over 30 European countries. That’s a lot of places to mispronounce “blockchain.” The MFSA, presumably after a lengthy conversation with a very tired lawyer, has given Gemini permission to be fully regulated and compliant-which in crypto terms usually means, “You won’t go to jail. Probably.”

The launch, a veritable circus of chaos, saw trading volume soar past $12.6 million, with open interest climbing to $6.5 million. A testament to the public’s insatiable hunger for risk, or perhaps a fleeting fad. 🚀

 Amidst the fog of regulatory skirmishes, crypto pioneers such as these are reportedly enthralled with preserving the gains of the past Trump administration-with as much gusto as an especially windy March soirée. The esteemed Gemini founders toppled the mundane and opted for the flamboyant digital offering to ‘realize,’ as Tyler articulates, Trump’s grandiose dreams for America to conquer the world of cryptocurrency.

Minister of State for Electronics and Information Technology, Jitin Prasada, has unveiled plans that sound like they were ripped straight from a sci-fi novel. The goal? An inclusive and transparent system that reduces regional gaps. Because if there’s one thing we need, it’s more government initiatives that sound like they were named by a committee of overly enthusiastic interns. 🙄

According to some mysterious onchain analyst (because who doesn’t love a good pseudonym?), this hodler made the switch through the decentralized exchange Hyperliquid. “Either he’s got some insider scoop that’s hotter than a summer day in Ibiza, or he’s just throwing darts at a board,” the analyst quipped in a Wednesday X post. Sloppy execution? More like a dramatic exit from the Bitcoin stage! 🎭

Ah, Cardano (ADA), that darling of the blockchain ball, is once again the center of attention. Large investors, those grandees of the financial world, have amassed a veritable fortune in tokens. Data from Santiment, as relayed by the ever-observant Ali Martinez, reveals that whale wallets-holding between 1 million and 100 million ADA-have added 100 million coins in the past 24 hours. This orgy of accumulation has pushed their total holdings to a princely 18.65 billion ADA. 🏰💎

“I think we’ll see $1M per bitcoin by 2030,” he declared, full of bravado.

“And of course, there are high error bars around these things”-because who doesn’t love a good dose of ambiguity now and then?

(Just a friendly reminder, I’m Not Your Financial Advisor; I’m merely waving my arms in the air like a wacky inflatable tube man!).