You Won’t Believe How Much Bitcoin This Company Just Hauled In! 🚀💰

Now, hold onto your hats, folks! This brings their total stash to a mind-boggling 640,808 BTC, acquired at a mere pittance of approximately $47.44 billion. Yes, billion with a B! Feel free to take a moment to calculate how many trips to the moon that might fund 🛸. And all this was achieved at an average price of $74,032 per coin, which is totally a bargain unless you happen to own a time machine and can go back to pick up Bitcoin in its toddler years.

Pi Network’s Price Plunge: A Tragic Tale of $0.29 and Desperate Hopes 📉💸

The $0.29 resistance, a stage set for tragedy, has proven as reliable as a politician’s promise. Its recent rejection was a slap in the face to buyers, who now scurry like mice in the dark. Sellers, emboldened, guard their fortress with the zeal of a horde of caffeinated squirrels. The value area high, once a sanctuary, has crumbled faster than a house of cards in a hurricane.

David Beckham’s Crypto Empire: $48M Bet on Bitcoin & Wellness 🤯

The Prenetics (Nasdaq: PRE) round, orchestrated by Dominari Securities, drew a motley crew: Kraken, Bitdeer’s Jihan Wu, Exodus, and even Aryna Sabalenka, tennis’s finest, who may have traded her racket for a crypto wallet. Adrian Cheng, that visionary investor, surely sees a future where Bitcoin replaces oxygen. Or perhaps he just likes the tax benefits. 😏

Cardano’s MACD Miracle: A 60% Rally? Sure, and I’ll Build You a Cathedral in the Clouds 🏰💸

Cardano’s MACD golden cross below the zero line signals a potential 60% rally-as reliable as a Soviet weather forecast.
$ADA trades at around $0.67. Momentum could shift if it breaks above the $0.77 resistance-or if pigs sprout wings.
Adoption could be boosted with new Emurgo and Gero Wallet payment cards, because nothing screams “revolution” like spending crypto at a banya.
$BEST is gaining traction as a usability play. It has raised over $16.6M as traders seek a secure wallet that connects storage, staking, payments, and Web3 features. 🤡

Gold Slips Under $4,000; Silver Near $46 as Safe Haven Bid Eases

Gold’s recent descent beneath the much-anticipated round number seems to have been triggered by the brighter prospects of U.S.-China trade negotiations and a noticeable uptick in equities. It appears, in fact, that the market has traded in its usual bunker mentality for a more charming brunch affair. 📈 According to Reuters on Monday, gold’s price at 11 a.m. Eastern time on Oct. 27 was pegged at $3,991.

XRP’s Open Interest Reset: A Pantomime of Profits 🎭💸

In a tweet so dramatic it could rival a West End play, CryptosRus declared that XRP’s open interest on Binance has returned to the same dreary lows last seen in May 2025. Remember that time? Yes, the one where liquidations flushed out weak hands and sent XRP soaring to $3.50-like a phoenix rising from the ashes of panic. Now, the open interest is at the floor, yet the price clings stubbornly to $2.60. A curious dance, wouldn’t you say? 🤶

Mt. Gox’s 2026 Repayments: Another Decade of Drama!

According to a Monday proclamation, the great Mt. Gox has postponed the restitution of funds to the 31st of October, 2026. Just four days prior to its previous deadline of October 31, 2025, they decided to push the date further. How thrilling! 🎉