The technical sages at CoinDesk say this pattern isn’t exactly a bold breakout but more like a nervous twitch-volatility, uncertainty, and a lot of “what now?” in the air. Activity balloons like a birthday balloon that’s just waiting for a pin, especially when BONK approached that sassy resistance near $0.0000090-only to be knocked back like a teenager’s ego in a family dinner argument.
Nano Labs’ CEO, channeling his inner Sherlock Holmes, deduced 400,000 mining rigs vanished by dividing numbers on a napkin 📝 (250 TH/s per “unit” – because who checks math anymore?). The culprit? Xinjiang’s mining farms, now reportedly shuttering faster than Soviet bread lines in winter. 🏭
Our beloved primary coin hovered near $90,000, basking in false confidence, only to tumble to a leaf-blown two-week low of $86,700 faster than you can say “pump and dump.”
At the hour when the sun had barely stretched its rays across the landscape, around 8 a.m. EST, Saylor graced the world with his latest announcement: “Strategy has acquired 10,645 BTC for a staggering $980.3 million at a price of $92,098 each. Thus far, this year, we have achieved a yield of 24.9%. As of December 14, 2025, we hold a majestic total of 671,268 BTC, procured at a princely sum of $50.33 billion at an average price of $74,972 per coin.” It appears that the price of the newly acquired digital gold rests approximately 2.84% above the current market value of $89,552 per coin, as if mocking the whims of fate.
On the daily chart, the digital dragon continues to skulk below its major trend markers, a shadow of its former self since the retreat from six-figure glory. It now hovers near the upper end of its recent range, yet remains shackled beneath multiple long-term averages-EMA and SMA, those fickle friends, like old, grumpy landlords demanding rent in upward momentum. 🏛️
Apparently, even Navy Federal Credit Union and VyStar have latched onto this shiny new toy to facilitate cross-border payments-because nothing says ‘trust’ like sending money across volatile markets while sipping a piña colada. These digital coins are purported to cut costs and delays, making traditional wire transfers look as outdated as carrier pigeons. With a staggering $3.5 billion annual stablecoin settlement volume across over 130 programs in 40 countries, Visa somehow positions stablecoins as the sprightly, faster payment infrastructure of the future-because speed is everything, especially when you’re trying to outrun inflation or procrastination.
The market started the week as lively as a sloth on a Sunday-meaning, not at all. Everyone’s so scared, they’re hiding under their coffee mugs.
Renato Eid, the clever clogs behind this masterstroke, scribbled in a year-end note (probably with a quill and ink, the old-fashioned darling) that Bitcoin is the bee’s knees for diversification. 🍯 Why? Because it’s as uncorrelated with traditional assets as a giraffe is with a teacup. 🦒☕ And let’s not forget its nifty trick of hedging against currency depreciation-a real lifesaver in a country where the currency does the cha-cha more often than not. 💃
Crypto.com App Referral Feature
December 2025 – Crypto.com, a global leader in cryptocurrency services because they have a logo and got funded, today announced an updated App Referral feature to expand user participation across the Crypto.com platform and enable users to earn CRO rewards through app-based referrals. Congrats! Now you can refer your uncle Sheldon who “knows a guy who mined Bitcoin in 2010” while also spending 10 minutes tracking CRO like it’s your 9-to-5 job. 🤪
As whispers of discontent swell over the Silicon Valley’s orbit, Vitalik’s plea rings out-a paean to free speech, a shield for the meek, a balm for eroded trust. Alas, the “free speech bastion” X™ seems more cage than sanctuary. 🔒