Musk Takes on Trump and the System
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To those who tremble at the thought of their Bitcoin positions, remember this: every box on the bullish checklist has been ticked. Yes, the price has yet to soar since emerging from its six-week-long bull flag, but rest assured, it’s merely a matter of time.
According to a recent release, BNY shall be the major reserve custodian of the RLUSD stablecoin. In addition, Ripple shall use BNY’s transaction banking services to support its operations and continue to provide solutions to its clients. 💼

Clearly, excitement is tied by a thousand invisible threads to the rise of Bonk.fun’s launchpad—a tool so influential, one wonders if the czars of old would have ditched land reform for a lucky mint.

This ETF is a real mix of digital assets, with a whopping 70% in bitcoin, 15% in ether, 8% in solana, 5% in Cronos, and a tiny 2% in XRP. It’s like a crypto smoothie, but with a Trump twist. The trust, a Nevada business trust sponsored by Yorkville America Digital, is aiming for a NYSE Arca listing. Foris DAX Trust, the US arm of Crypto.com, is handling the digital assets, and they’re even passing through staking rewards. Talk about a win-win! 🎉

But how did we get here? UMA, a protocol separate from Polymarket, has a history of making contentious rulings that have left even Polymarket scratching its head 🤔.
And so it came to pass, as though from the pages of a melodramatic novel, that Sheikh Ahmed bin Saeed Al Maktoum, chairman of the grand Emirates, with a flourish of pen and the gossamer promise of progress, inked a deal with Crypto.com and the fabled keepers of perfume and Toblerone, Dubai Duty Free. Travelers henceforth may venture skywards or descend upon duty-free for their inevitable shopping spree—all through the mysterious, mystical means of crypto.

According to the illustrious blockchain analytics firm Sentora, miner-related transactions now constitute a mere 3.3% of total Bitcoin volume—a precipitous decline from the halcyon days of last year when miners occasionally contributed over 20%. The current level, reminiscent of the late 2022 market nadir, suggests a broader slowdown in miner-driven activity. One might say, the miners are taking a well-deserved siesta, perhaps to ponder the meaning of their existence in a world that increasingly values digital tokens over tangible assets.

And lo, the rate of Cardano (ADA), that most wondrous of cryptocurrencies, has risen by a staggering 2.23% over the last 24 hours 🚀. One can almost hear the champagne corks popping and the joyous whoops of the investors as they gaze upon their swelling portfolios 🎉.
Kinetiq, ever the diplomatic ex, issued a statement about their considerate early notice—seven-day unstaking delay and all that jazz—so everyone could presumably set their alarms and calmly move their tokens. Honestly, who are we kidding? The whales were already halfway out the door, sunglasses on, Uber waiting, prepping for Kinetiq’s sparkling new features.