Cryptonews

Let’s not forget, Coinbase’s Q1 was a masterclass in “what could go wrong, did.” Trading volume? Down 50%. Revenue? A measly $1.41 billion. Net loss? A staggering $394.1 million. But hey, at least they’re still profitable in a technical sense! Or is that just a typo? Who knows! The important thing is, Benchmark’s now dreaming of $270, because nothing says “confidence” like raising a target after a quarter that made a toddler’s temper tantrum look like a meditation retreat.

Osero, a stablecoin yield infrastructure project nurtured in the hothouse of Stablewatch and Soter Labs, has swanned off with $13.5 million in a round led by the ever-generous Sky Ecosystem and its co-leader, Plasma, who clearly have a taste for the dramatic.

Eowyn Chen, who previously led Trust Wallet, is taking on the role of interim Chief Marketing Officer at Binance, according to a company representative.

Summary

On May 8, the Cardano Preview test network decided to hard fork itself into Protocol Version 11, which is basically the blockchain equivalent of upgrading from a tricycle to a spaceship. According to Intersect, this means the new primitives are now available for testing, which is great news if you’re the kind of person who finds joy in testing primitives. (We’re looking at you, developers.)

The crypto world, once a roaring fire, now flickered weakly, and Exodus, that bold wallet, found itself shivering in the cold. Its Q1 2026 report? A dirge of numbers, a lament for the lost glory of trading.

The cost of running a crypto scam is dropping faster than a wizard’s hat in a windstorm, all thanks to AI. But, lo and behold, the exchanges are fighting back with the very same sorcery. It’s like watching a wizard duel, but with more zeros and ones.

The Daily Relative Strength Index (RSI) has once more wandered back into bullish chambers, while the 4-hour frame has carved a neat ascending channel as if drawn by a stoic clerk with a ruler from a provincial bureau. Both watchmen now agree on one question: how far can the next gust of speculation carry us?

Once upon a time, Schwartz crafted the XRP Ledger, then decided to retire from his role as CTO, because who needs a job when you can just accidentally amass a fortune? He spilled the beans on X after a fan asked, “Which token paid you the most?”

The journey, Trump’s first return to the jade-and-torches land since 2017, promises a stew of AI chat, semiconductors, new trades and investments, and Middle East tangles. But for Bitcoin and the digital menagerie, this is a weather vane with a pocketful of wind-and it’s hard to tell which way the weathervane points until the gusts have passed.