The N-1A filing, a document of great import, revealeth their plan: to invest up to 60% of each fund’s assets directly in the underlying token, while the remainder shall be cast into the abyss of exchange-traded products and, perchance, derivatives such as futures and swaps. A gamble, most assuredly! 🎲
Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong, that fighting spirit in a pinstripe, defended the rewards with all the enthusiasm of a man who has clearly never had to budget for coffee:
Yes, Bitcoin, that stolid, lumbering mammoth of a cryptocurrency, has once again spent 24 hours doing what it does best: absolutely nothing. With the grace of a sedated rhinoceros, it lumbered upward by a paltry two thousand dollars and now stands – or rather, snoozes – just shy of $89,000. One can almost hear it snoring through the blockchain.
Behold this fascinating data, recently paraded by Bitcoin Magazine Pro, a spot where news often pirouettes on thin air. It boldly asserts that a grand total of 7.5 million BTC, by those ardent holders besotted with long-term affection, have been generously distributed during this entertaining bull market saga. If one counts that a melancholic 4 to 5 million BTC has been consigned, alas, to the void of permanence, then it appears that nearly half of all BTC has been offered for sale. With such staggering selling pressure, it may come as no surprise that the demand for Bitcoin has, at the very least, kept pace. Or perhaps it ascended beautifully to the occasion?
In a world where the crypto market is as predictable as a Steinbeck novel, Cypherpunk Technologies (CYPH) is playing the long game. Backed by the Winklevoss twins-those Harvard heartthrobs turned crypto kings-the firm just shelled out $28 million for more zcash. Their stash now? 290,062 ZEC, or $152 million in real-world money. That’s enough to make even Tom Joad jealous.
Key takeaways (if you can be bothered):
Meanwhile, Bitcoin [BTC] was busy doing its usual thing-oscillating between $85k and $90k like a caffeinated yo-yo. PI, however, remained unfazed, steadfast in its commitment to mediocrity.
According to the heralds of wealth-Grayscale-those top twenty performers in the lost year’s tail-were none other than the shadowy champions of secrecy: ZEC, Monero [XMR], Dash [DASH], and their ilk. It seems, in the grand theatre of this digital farce, these tokens monopolized the minds of the masses, their stories spun with the threads of narrative momentum, fueling expectations that hover between hope and despair, much like the Russian winter-bitter, relentless, and unpredictable. 🌍
In a whispered missive on X, Maartunn, the CryptoQuant oracle, unveiled the latest twist in the Bitcoin Coinbase Premium Gap’s tale. A metric that tracks the price dance between Coinbase and Binance, where the American titans meet the global horde.
When Trump rode back into town, crypto regulators threw their enforcement-first strategies into a woodchipper. 🚪💥 Now, instead of treating digital assets like a radioactive potato, they’re hugging them like long-lost cousins at a family reunion. Wu Blockchain says this shift is so dramatic, it makes the IRS look like a bunch of hippies.
