Cryptonews

According to our brave hero Coinbase, these so-called prediction market contracts are just fancy derivatives, which, by the divine laws of Congress (and probably a few bedtime stories), belong to the mighty Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC). The company argues, quite sternly, that those state regulators should mind their own business and let the federal folks handle it. Because, obviously, states trying to regulate? What a monumental fuss! 🚫🎲

The on-chain echoes tell tales of activity. One might wonder, is this real, or merely the fevered hallucination of a market teetering on the brink of oblivion? Still, the numbers shout-no, rant-about some semblance of life, as if mocking the critics who called it a ghost chain, a shadow trying to grasp at the fading light of relevance. Even in a market climate colder than Siberian nights, these transactions dance like drunken poets chanting resurrection hymns!

But here’s the kicker: despite all this frenzied activity, the price is sitting there like a lump of dormant magic, refusing to budge. It’s like the market’s having a cup of tea while the network throws a party. 🍵🎉

Buyers? They’ve gone to the great beyond. Instead of snatching up dips like hungry wolves, they’re fleeing faster than a tavern after a brawl. At this point, a price collapse isn’t a possibility-it’s a certainty, wrapped in a shroud of doom.

In a move that screams “me too!” TRON DAO has announced its integration with Base, Coinbase’s Ethereum Layer 2 network. Because nothing says “innovation” like hopping on the bandwagon. 🚂 The integration, powered by LayerZero (the unsung hero of cross-chain gossip), went live today, allowing TRX to waltz onto the Base ecosystem like it owns the place.

In what can only be described as the fintech equivalent of jumping off a cliff and hoping for a soft landing, Mercury is applying to turn into a bona fide national bank-yes, a real bank-while still charming its partner banks in the meantime. Because who doesn’t love a good long game? 🎲

Ethereum, that relentless digital titan, has outpaced the old guard. The gap yawns wider, a chasm of adoption, as if the very blockchain itself whispers, “You were warned.”

The European Union, that grand orchestra of bureaucracy, has struck a chord toward a digital euro. On Friday, the Council – a body of mortals tasked with playing god – agreed on a negotiating stance for legislation that would birth a digital currency while clinging to the relic of physical cash. A paradox? Indeed. But then again, so is modernity itself.

According to Citi’s resident wizards of finance (Alex Saunders, Dirk Willer, and Vinh Vo), we can expect a surge in digital asset adoption thanks to U.S. legislation dropping in Q2, with Bitcoin meandering around the $80k-$90k range like a confused tourist in a foreign currency. 🧙♂️

This audacious stunt, executed during what the wise market sages call a “weak period,” has everyone questioning whether BMNR is PlayStation-level lucky or just pure genius-perhaps both, with a dash of mischief. The resilience of this company is so fierce, it might make even a cockroach consider a career change and become an investor.