Cryptonews

With $1.3 trillion in deposits and 120 million account holders, Japan Post Bank is basically the financial equivalent of a Godzilla-sized bank. They’re partnering with DeCurret DCP (a company that sounds like it was named by a toddler with a thesaurus) and MUFG (the bank that’s basically the financial version of a superhero sidekick). Their DCJPY? It’s like a stablecoin but with more stability and zero chance of turning into Monero. 😅

XRP: $2.8156 ◢0.32% (Because nothing says excitement like a fraction of a percent change.)

Similar to that nephew who shows up at a family reunion with news of his sudden promotion, Ethereum [ETH] is whistlin’ a sad tune for its once-boisterous testnet, Holešky, chopping its ramshackle tent down in the dusty campsite just a mere two years after its headstart.

The swindler’s reach extended to what we may call the Union of Two Chains-Ethereum and UniChain. Here, it seems, lies a tragicomic joke: assets, suspended between blocks like floating spirits in an opulent, yet flawed, ghost estate.

Voyager, the celestial navigator of this blockchain universe, confirms that the last block, numbered 1961878, was the final whisper before the silence. For the past three hours, no new blocks have emerged, and the transactions, once bustling like a busy market, now stand still, waiting for the dawn to break.

Apparently, South Korea’s government has decided that their crypto scene is just too exciting to keep quiet. Starting next year, they’ll be passing around data about your crypto adventures on exchanges like Upbit and Bithumb. Think of it as the world’s most intrusive family reunion, except instead of embarrassing stories, it’s detailed records of your digital treasure hunts being passed around with the precision of a sleepy cat knocking over a glass of water.

Behold! Solana (SOL) struts at $203, a princely sum-up 2% in a day and 8% in a week. Having turned $200 from foe to friend, it now tests its loyalty like a jealous lover. 💔

As if in a grand masque, technical indicators and market sentiment now stand aligned, leaving our dear Bitcoin at a significant crossroads-will the bullish forces regain control, or will the bearish interlopers halt the recovery? Only time shall tell!

Right, so South Korea has decided to crash the global crypto party. They’re officially joining the OECD’s Crypto-Asset Reporting Framework (CARF), which means your mysterious, international crypto dealings are about to get as secretive as your neighbor’s Tinder profile. Starting in 2027 (just enough time for everyone to absolutely forget about it), if you’re a … Read more

Not far behind Chainlink (bless their hearts) is DeepBook Protocol, coming in at a *humble* 188.5 in development activity. And don’t even get me started on DeFiChain, sitting at a cool 148.5, but still struggling to stay afloat as their token price plummets like my motivation on a Monday morning. Babylon (124.17) and FOX Token (85.87) are also trying their best, somehow managing to look like they’re doing something despite the stormy market conditions. 🧐