Apparently, this little shopping spree was funded by a $500 million private placement led by 10X Capital and YZi Labs. Because nothing says “we’re serious about crypto” like throwing half a billion dollars at it. 💼✨
$BTC climbed nearly 4% in two days, flirting with all-time highs like a shy teenager at prom. Could this be the week it sets a new record? Who knows! But if history-or at least some fancy charts-are any indication, we might see $125K before you can say “blockchain.” 🚀📈
In the public square-otherwise known as the Nasdaq-companies parade like geese in spring. BitMine Immersion Technologies alone strutted in with 208,000 ETH, squawking, “Look here, peasants, we are solvent!” not noticing its own tail is on fire. Close behind, SharpLink Gaming flapped down $303 million as casually as throwing breadcrumbs to a swan.
Yet, since the fateful month of August 2020, MSTR has delivered 100% average annual returns, compounding to a staggering 3,000% cumulative gain, while Bitcoin itself has offered a mere 1,000% in the same period. 📈🚀
Ethereum’s ascent? A symphony of chaos! Capital flows like a drunkard’s tequila binge-$158 million OTC via Galaxy Digital in 14 hours, while a whale hoarded 65,000 ETH for $281 million. One might think these investors are preparing for a blockchain-themed apocalypse. ETF inflows? $461 million in a day, outpacing Bitcoin’s paltry $404 million. Perhaps the market’s betting on ETH’s ability to survive the next “black swan” event… or just a really bad bear market.
The numbers, my dear reader, are as dizzying as a waltz in a Moscow ballroom. Corporate crypto treasuries, with their 791,662 BTC (a trifling $93 billion, mind you), now command 3.98% of Bitcoin’s circulating supply. CryptoMoon, that harbinger of digital fortunes, proclaimed this on July 31, as if heralding the dawn of a new epoch. 🌕✨
And in the corner, sneaky little projects like Bitcoin Hyper ($HYPER) are sharpening their claws-ready to ride the storm by turbocharging Bitcoin’s sluggish get-up-and-go with a layer 2 tech so slick, it might just make your grandma’s old dial-up look like a rocket blast. Yep, more speed, more DeFi, and fewer fees-because nobody likes paying a small fortune to send a coin.
//media.crypto.news/2025/08/Image-11-08-2025-at-09.47.jpeg”/>
Kiyosaki, ever the prophet of gloom, claims the signs are everywhere. Geopolitical tensions? Check. Rising interest rates? Check. High debts? Double check. It’s like a financial apocalypse bingo card, and we’re all losing. 🎱💸 But fear not! If the stock market goes kaput, Kiyosaki says gold, silver, and Bitcoin will be the new black. Because nothing says “I’m prepared for the end times” like hoarding shiny metals and digital coins. 🪙🔮
While the rest of the crypto market was busy partying with gains in the last 24 hours, HBAR decided to go in the opposite direction, posting a delightful 2% drop. How charming. This is probably a sign that people are starting to lose faith in this token, and it might soon tumble out of its narrow comfort zone. Talk about a midlife crisis! 😬
