And if you think that’s impressive, hold onto your hats-Ethereum’s open interest, the fancy term for all those active but unsettled contracts, surged a hefty 75%, landing at $5.21 billion in July from a mere $2.97 billion in June. Apparently, people aren’t just dabbling; they’re throwing their money in with the enthusiasm of someone betting on the underdog in a cake-eating contest.
Before making this questionable alliance, Safety Shot had the good sense to clear all its debts and stash over $15 million in cash – seems like they were feeling flush enough to bet on a gamble that’s about as stable as a drunk on a unicycle. Dominari Securities, LLC, was sittin’ in the corner advising like a wise old owl, watching the whole scheme unfold.
At current market prices, this sum would secure approximately 6,400 Bitcoins-a hoard that, one imagines, would make even the most stoic of Russian landowners blush with envy. Yet, Bailey, ever the strategist, has chosen not to plunge headlong into the market like a bull in a china shop. Instead, he employs the Volume Weighted Average Price (VWAP) strategy, a tactic as nuanced as a Turgenev character’s inner monologue, breaking the order into smaller trades to minimize slippage and market disruption. “A straight market buy? How gauche,” one can almost hear him muse, stroking an imaginary beard. 🧐
This delightful tidbit was revealed by TRM Labs, a blockchain intelligence company that’s really good at exposing the dark side of the internet. Apparently, the Embargo gang has been doing some serious damage, and not in the cool heist movie way, but more in the “we hold your critical data hostage” way.
And let’s not forget the backdrop of this madness: 2025 has been a wild ride for these investment products. It’s like they’re on a rollercoaster, but instead of screaming, investors are yelling, “Take my money!” 🎢💸
Now, while we may witness a few short-lived rallies-like a firework that fizzles out before it can dazzle-the overarching trend whispers of a slowdown, or dare I say, a deeper correction. Analysts, those wise sages of the market, predict that from late August into the crisp embrace of September and October, XRP may find itself in a bearish waltz, much like its fellow coins that share this dismal chart pattern. 🎩
The HYPE’s TVL, like a stubborn crop, has reached new heights, a steady climb since the dawn of 2025. The data from DeFiLlama, shared by Param, shows a surge in locked capital, a sign that both old and new farmers are tilling the same soil, seeking a harvest of trust and liquidity. 🌾
The Charlotte-based company announced the shelf registration on August 8, 2025. This filing gives them permission to sell stock and raise money over time when market conditions are good. Which, you know, is basically Wall Street’s version of “let’s see how desperate we can get.”
Trump’s latest salvo in the cryptocurrency saga? An updated S-1 filing for a Bitcoin ETF, with Crypto.com, that most stylish of digital banks, now playing the role of custodian. Meanwhile, BlackRock’s ETF, now a titan of $80 billion, has become the market’s favorite parlour game. One might say it’s a jolly good romp for the big boys. 🎩
If destiny, that lazy clerk, allows this bargain to proceed, each somewhat-glorious Northern Data share transforms into 2.319 newfangled Rumble shares, as if by bureaucratic magic. After much counting on stubby fingers, it seems Northern Data’s gentlemen would hold about one third of the new conglomerate-just enough to complain about the coffee, not enough to change the cream. ☕🥄
