Cryptonews

The Most Extraordinary Tariff Dividend of Donald Trump

The timing? Coincidental, surely. Just hours earlier, the US Senate, in a fit of bipartisan enthusiasm (or sheer exhaustion 🥱), voted 60-40 to end the 40-day government shutdown-a spectacle of fiscal brinkmanship that made the Hatfield-McCoy feud look like a picnic. Democrats, ever the romantics, had insisted on healthcare subsidies; Republicans, ever the libertarians, demurred. How very civilized.

Behold! The following tidings have been gleaned:

Ledger is preparing for its next phase of expansion as interest in secure storage rises across the crypto market. Which, let’s be honest, is mostly because everyone’s suddenly realized keeping your crypto on an exchange is roughly equivalent to leaving your house unlocked with a sign saying “Please Rob Me.”

Q3 2025: The day the music died… for skeptics. DATCos went full “Shark Week” on crypto, buying more than a bunch of clueless interns at a Silicon Valley garage sale. 🦒

In my advisory role to governments, last week, two senior officials from two different countries referred to crypto as “the hard money”. The realization is finally happening. 💪

The latest fellow to find himself in a spot of bother is one Chetan Gangani, a chap from Surat. Apparently, he’s been up to no good, helping transfer a cool ₹10 crore through his BitGet crypto account to a wallet linked to Pakistan. His arrest has rather let the cat out of the bag, revealing how these fraudsters are using cryptocurrency to hide their tracks and send funds abroad. Clever, but not clever enough, eh? 🤭💸

On-chain whispers reveal that Michael Saylor’s crew has been on a little test drive-five test transactions from Coinbase Prime over the past couple of days. Just testing, folks. Or, you know, making sure their digital wallet doesn’t explode when they finally go all-in. No big deal.

Bitcoin, in a frenzy of indecision, dances on the edge of a precipice as if orchestrated by a drunken conductor with a calculator. 🎭

Zcash (ZEC) had a day, let me tell you. A day! Down, down, down it went. A precipitous plummet! But, like a bad penny, it keeps coming back, because apparently, even schlemiels can have a good day. Miners and regular folks are sniffing around, always looking for a deal. They’re hoping to shove that price right back up towards… wait for it… $1,000! Can you believe it? 💰