Meanwhile, institutions are piling into Bitcoin like it’s Black Friday at a tech store. Even Trump’s own company is reportedly stacking BTC, rubbing elbows with the likes of MicroStrategy and MetaPlanet. Bitcoin’s price seems steadier now, but it’s still tied to the whims of US politics. So, is it time to dive in? Or should you just grab popcorn and watch? 🍿
Having initially bowed its dimpled grill to Bitcoin on the frosty yet auspicious day of May 16th, covering the culinary ground from America to the sun-dazed thoroughfares of France, Monaco, and Spain, they now find themselves reaping the spoils of loyalty, with sales burgeoning by a prosperous 15% compared to last year, all thanks to these crypto champions’ patronage.
“Don’t worry about China, it will all be fine!” he typed, presumably while eating a Big Mac and contemplating his next golf course. “Highly respected President Xi just had a bad moment.” Oh, just a bad moment, huh? Like when you accidentally wear mismatched socks, but with trillions of dollars at stake. 🧦💸 Trump assured us that the U.S.A. wants to help China, not hurt it, which is rich coming from the man who once called tariffs his “favorite word.” 🗣️🤡
The galactic demand for tossing around digital coins like confetti has emboldened major exchanges such as Coinbase to revisit those arbitrary spending limits. The illustrious CEO, Brian Armstrong (not to be confused with any other Armstrong-type figures from history or above-the-clouds stories), mentioned on social media platform X on Oct. 11 that Coinbase was about to conduct a little underground experiment in going big or going home.
The global cryptocurrency market cap has apparently been lifting weights, gaining $170 billion in just 24 hours. A $170 billion gain-because why not? This surge, of course, is not just Bitcoin flexing. Oh no, it’s a full-on recovery rally with all the big players jumping in on the action.
Ah, the crypto world-a realm where scandal blooms like a noxious flower. A sleuth of the blockchain has fingered Garrett Jin, the former über-captain of the now-sunken SS BitForex, as the puppeteer behind a Hyperliquid whale. This behemoth commands a staggering 100,000 BTC, a sum that would make even Croesus blush. Jin, you see, is no stranger to controversy, having helmed BitForex during its ignominious descent into fraud and ruin. What a charming résumé! 🎭
Let’s face it – since July 11, bitcoin miners have been watching their profits dwindle away like snow melting on a spring morning.
Cobbled together with Bisq 2’s Java magic for a jolly compatibility caper, this beta is more chummy with the buyers – sellers, you can poke around if you dare, but don’t whine if backup-and-restore plays dead on you, you wily critters. It packs in those saucy mobile bits we’ve teased, like Tor on the sly, cheeky message notifications, auto-reconnect hocus-pocus, multilingual jabber (English, Spanish, Italian, Russian, Czech, and German, because why not confuse everyone equally?), plus error-handling that won’t leave you scratching your noggin like a bewildered goose. The clever-clogs team beckons the village idiots – er, I mean community testers – for bugs and howls, promising more seller-centric tomfoolery in the offing, because nothing says “trust” like ongoing adventures in code chaos. 😏🐛
While the price has shown early signs of stabilization near $2.4, the market remains fragile and highly sensitive to further macro developments. Which is to say, if someone sneezes, XRP will probably faint. 🤢
Pretend grandpa’s in jail. Or the IRS is hunting your dog. Or Elon just texted you from paradise. 🐶💸 Scammers, those modern-day circus clowns in digital masks, dress up as saints-family, cops, angels with Wi-Fi-and whisper sweet nothings like, “Quick! Run to the magic money box!” And off you go, cash in hand, feeding it to a cold metal beast that turns your life savings into internet dust. ✨🚫
