Cryptonews

Perhaps reminiscent of a classic Western showdown, this zone has multiple retests, suggesting the market’s grand poker face might crack soon enough. This could, if the stars align and the Bitcoin gods smile upon us, lead to a double-bottom formation – think of it as Pi Network’s version of a hug, signaling that perhaps the worst is behind us. Signs of accumulation are flickering like streetlights in a thunderstorm, hinting that a rebound might be just around the corner, possibly up to a glorious $0.70. Fancy that? 🤑

In a move that unites wild ambition with the rustic charm of cattle ranchers, Wyoming has waltzed into the grand ballroom of stablecoins, clutching its very own digital dollar with the ferocity of a debutante clutching pearls.

On Wednesday, Bitcoin (BTC) decided to take a little dip to $112,565, briefly flirting with a two-week low last seen on August 3. Because who doesn’t love a good rollercoaster ride in the world of crypto? (Note: sarcasm included for your convenience.)

The 25th audit snapshot, a masterclass in transparency (or is it?), showcased holdings across blockchains. Yet SHIB, with its trillions, stands tall like a meme coin titan, making lesser balances seem as modest as a teacup. 🏰

According to the filing (a lo-fi thriller written in Acrobat), Ripple tied the knot back in July, granting Gemini the magical power to tug its sleeve and whisper, “Oi, lend us five million?” whenever it fancies-up to $75 mil to start, then “maybe more, love, if you hit the gym and stop hemorrhaging cash.” The absolute roof is $150 million, after which Gemini must pay Ripple back in RLUSD, Ripple’s own stable plaything-because nothing screams trust like paying your dealer in the currency they just printed. 💸

Bitcoin’s [BTC] overall demand from ETF complex and treasury firms has dropped sharply, further accelerating the recent pullback from $124K to $112.5K. Ah, what is this but the tragic waltz of capital, dancing to the fickle tune of greed and despair? 💃🕺

On the oh-so-enlightening date of Aug. 20, Celsius announced (to some immediate and others, perhaps through a time-delayed messaging device) the commencement of its third distribution, amounting to a cool $220.6 million. Total recoveries are meandering at a 64.9% of creditor claims, bringing up the rear like an overly cautious duckling in a storm.

The latest trade notifications, which arrived on Tuesday with the punctuality of a well-trained butler, reveal that ARK’s flagship ARK Innovation ETF (ARKK) has annexed a considerable number of shares in Bullish and Robinhood. A staggering 356,346 shares of Bullish, amounting to approximately $21.2 million, and a not-to-be-sniffed-at 150,908 shares of Robinhood, worth around $16.2 million, found themselves under the ARK umbrella. Honestly, it’s a positively thrilling spectacle of financial maneuvering!

Democratic Governor of Illinois, Jay Robert “JB” Pritzker, signed not one, but two bills into law this Monday, promising to regulate the chaos of crypto and protect Illinois consumers. But of course, this is just a cover for his chance to unload a verbal barrage at President Donald Trump, accusing him of giving lobbyists a seat at the policy-writing table.

Bitcoin, that proud paragon of decentralization, now teeters on the edge of a centralized quagmire, thanks to its own PoW folly. How ironic! 🤡