Cryptonews

Pal, clearly never a man to let facts get in the way of a good forecast, argues that digital assets are destined to ensnare four billion souls by the end of this breathless decade. He bases this on historical comparisons-because what are predictions if not the fine art of cherry-picking bygone years? Where the internet tiptoed from five million users to 187 million by 2000, crypto has already invited more than 650 million to the masquerade ball, jostling ahead at double the pace, like a particularly enthusiastic chorus line in a musical nobody knows the ending of. 🎩

This here gambit promises to fling the doors wide open for them big-shot institutional dollars to come a-knockin’ on $S’s door – but don’t get too giddy yet, because balancing short-term dilution with long-term deflationary mojo is about as tricky as walking a tightrope in a tornado. 🤹‍♂️

Amina Bank AG, a Swiss crypto bank with the regulatory pedigree of a well-tailored suit, revealed on Aug. 28, 2025, a strategic collaboration with Metalpha Technology Holding Ltd., a Nasdaq-listed firm specializing in digital asset wealth management. The initiative begins with the launch of Principal Fund I, a crypto equity-focused vehicle distributed through Amina’s Hong Kong subsidiary. 🎩💼

Enter MMBTtrader, the Gandalf of crypto analysts, who points out that Bitcoin’s price is currently experiencing what can only be described as “existential dread.” Rejected at $120,000 like a bad Tinder date, Bitcoin has tumbled back to its next major support zone. For now, $108,000 is holding strong-but let’s be real, markets love drama more than reality TV producers. If sellers keep flexing their muscles, this level might as well wave a white flag.

Deposits are already actif, while withdrawals are scheduled for the morrow – as if they’re just waiting for the morning rush of unsuspecting gamblers. Binance, not wishing to be left out of the fun, has tagged it “seed,” a label reserved for tokens that are basically the financial equivalent of a fireworks display on a submarine.

Binance, ever the showman, announced that WLFI spot trading would commence at 13:00 UTC with WLFI/USDT and WLFI/USDC pairs. Deposits opened earlier, like eager beavers at dawn, while withdrawals will saunter in on September 2nd. This extravaganza expands WLFI’s reach beyond its pre-market futures, which had been frolicking on Binance and Hyperliquid (HYPE) since late August. 🕺💃

“All the technical details have been sorted out!” exclaimed Professor Cai, with the enthusiasm of a cat discovering catnip. “We will take Bitcoin and digital currencies for tuition fees and donations in the future.” Just to clarify: if you’re expecting your future career to be funded by fresh air and unicorn smiles, you might want to rethink your life choices. 🦄

Despite the calm on the surface, a storm brews. Bitcoin’s price has plateaued, but insiders whisper of a potential breakout-imagine that, a way out of the digital cave! As if the market has decided to “hold steady,” but deep in its silicon core, a frenzy of accumulation continues-retailers and whales alike, all stacking relentlessly. Who needs excitement when you can have strategic patience, right? 😏

Move over, Bitcoin and Ethereum! Story Protocol [IP] has waltzed onto the crypto stage like a drunken uncle at a wedding-except this guy knows exactly what he’s doing! 😎 On the 31st of August, IP didn’t just top the charts; it moonwalked past them while BTC and ETH were busy playing “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” 🦶🌕

Among the most notable additions were Ondo’s OUSG tokenized treasury fund, Guggenheim’s digital commercial paper, and Ctrl Alt’s tokenized real estate-each more perplexing than the last. It’s as if the blockchain decided to host a gala for the world’s most confused investors.