According to VirtualBacon (who may or may not be a sentient strip of cured pork), the real story this year isn’t the Bitcoin halving or ETF approvals-no, no, those are mere distractions. The real headline is the Fed’s liquidity pivot, which sounds like a dance move but is actually just bankers deciding whether to hoard cash or spray it around like confetti at a billionaire’s wedding.
ASIC Commissioner Alan Kirkland, a man with the gravitas of a grumpy wizard, declared, “Many widely traded digital assets are financial products under current law-meaning many providers require a financial services license.” One might wonder if he’s been secretly training his pet crocodile to enforce these rules. 🐊
Their joint endeavor hatches a grand scheme to erect a data center as mighty as an ox in Abernathy, Texas, boasting enough power to confuse even the savviest computer minds. The plan, splurging a mighty sum of $9.5 billion dollars, sent their stock soaring higher than a kite on a windy day, climbing by more than 20% in just one fell Tuesday.
“As John Bassilios, a truly enlightened crypto lawyer of indeterminate depth, elucidated to CryptoMoon, the newest guidance suggests that tokens such as Bitcoin (BTC), those infinitesimal non-fungible tokens dancing in the gaming realm, and digital concert tickets, the real avant-garde festival posters of today, are astonishingly not regarded as financial products,” he declared.
World Liberty Financial (WLFI) announced an 8.4 million governance token airdrop. Consequently, this distribution rewards early adopters of its USD1 stablecoin program now. WLFI launched the USD1 Points Program two months ago. This loyalty platform was an active promotion of the USD1 stablecoin project. The program granted points in exchange for trading of USD1 on partner exchanges. Users were also given points for keeping USD1 balances at all times.
According to a press release that probably used the word “disrupt” 17 times, Truth Social users will soon be able to predict everything from election outcomes to whether gold prices will crash harder than a Trump casino. 🎢 The feature, cleverly named “Truth Predict,” promises real-time updates, because who doesn’t love betting on inflation rates while scrolling through memes? 🤓
Picture this: a whale so enormous, it makes the Exxon Valdez look like a rubber ducky. Whale Alert spots a whopper of a transaction-1,097,555 SOL, to be exact. That’s over $218 million – yes, you read right, two hundred and eighteen million dollars! And this is just the warm-up act, folks. 🎭
Imagine, in a land of 5.5 million, 6,470 people once claimed to own digital assets in 2019. Now? A bustling crowd of 73,000, clutching $4 billion in crypto like it’s the last loaf of bread in a famine. 🍞💸
As the Federal Reserve prepared to unveil its next move on October 29, risk assets-those fickle paramours of greed-tiptoed upward. The Dow Jones, in a dramatic flourish, surged past 150 points before the curtain fell. The S&P 500, hovering near 6,800 like a moth to a flame, rose 0.4%, while the Nasdaq, with its tech-heavy swagger, climbed 0.8%. A ballet of algorithms.
Institutions are betting on volatility like it’s a game show, while BTC dances between $107K and $122K. Spoiler: No one knows what happens next. 🎲
