‘New Bitcoin ATH in Next 3-4 Weeks,’ Glassnode Cofounders

Yes, you heard it right, dear reader. The time of reckoning is near. @Negentropic_, with all the confidence of a fortune teller who’s just smoked a particularly potent incense, has boldly proclaimed that these top-three cryptos-Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Solana-are headed for a new era of price milestones, soon to be etched into the annals of history.

HYPE Price Soars to New Heights – Is It Time to Jump Onboard? 🚀

As a seasoned onlooker of this rollercoaster, I can see a delightful cocktail of solid fundamentals and technical prancing encouraging HYPE’s price gallop. But before you throw your virtual confetti, some momentum indicators are waving their little red flags, cautiously screaming, “Hang on! Is this sustainable, or are we in for a freemium cooldown next?” So, strap in as we explore the whimsical world of price surges and the potential highs (or lows) ahead.

Winklevoss Twins Make Waves: IPO Madness and Political Shenanigans Unfold!

Our dear friends at AMBCrypto have been busy, revealing the twins’ blossoming friendship with none other than President Donald Trump. Yes, they tossed a cool $2 million in Bitcoin towards his 2024 campaign-only to find their wallets slightly lighter after a federal refund. Who knew politics could be so… fiscal? 💸

ETFs Are Back! Bitcoin & Ethereum Bring the Party with Millions 🎉💰

Our beloved Bitcoin ETF basked in a combined flood of $552.78 million, led by none other than BlackRock IBIT, who gallantly contributed $366.20 million to this financial fiesta. Fidelity FBTC chimed in with a respectable $134.71 million, Bitwise BITB hopped in with $40.43 million, and Invesco BTCO, well, let’s just say they managed $5.71 million-bless their hearts! Franklin EZBC added a charming $3.31 million, while VanEck HODL, in a modest show of effort, gained $2.43 million. 🎩

Why Uruguay’s Digital Peso Plan Is the Plot Twist You Didn’t See Coming

The Central Bank of Uruguay is in the throes of a “deep restructuring” (read: serious makeover), which includes eyeballing the idea of digital currency. According to the local media, this drama kicked off last August when they booted Adolfo Sarmiento from his comfy economic policy manager throne, mysteriously mum on the reasons. Suspense!

Bitcoin Heist! ⛏️ Care Homes Targeted.

The culprits, a pair of fellows aged 32 and 33 – one suspects their mothers are deeply embarrassed – were engaged in a clandestine operation to power a bitcoin mining enterprise. The poor institutions in question were rendered with electricity bills inflated to the tune of US$1,153 (HK$9,000). A most significant sum, one might observe, which could presumably have gone towards, oh, I don’t know… actual care? 🤔 The detection of the swindle, naturally, came about not through brilliant police work, but because the internet slowed to a crawl – a tragedy in this modern age – and the utility bills started to resemble something from a particularly profligate sheikh’s accounts.

AI Becomes a Minister in Albania: Twitter for Decades?

Diella AI Image

“Diella is the first cabinet member who isn’t physically present, but is virtually created by AI,” announced Albania’s Prime Minister Edi Rama at the Socialist Party shindig. And guess what? It’s supposed to keep Albania free of corruption or something. Like, big news. 🎉