Cryptonews

Imaginez, chers amis, un oracle moderne, un mystérieux « Coincodex » qui, avec la finesse d’un devin de bazar, prévoit que notre cher Shiba, en cette fin d’année, ne fera que s’enliser dans une patinoire glaciale, oscillant entre 0.00001 et 0.000012 dollars. Voilà qui est cocasse, n’est-ce pas ? Le même oracle assure qu’il n’y aura ni plouf ni plongée abyssale dans la piscine à monnaie numérique. Il s’agit d’un « mouvement » presque droit comme la règle, espérons-le, pour qu’il continue son balancement sans fracas jusqu’en 2026… ou même plus longtemps !

Since early 2025, Solana has been strutting its stuff on the crypto catwalk, leaving everyone begging for the highlights of its stellar performance. But caught in the limelight are whispers about its next move-can it tread the path to $1,000, or is it destined for a heartbreak tumble back down to $100? 💸

Ah, Polymarket-the prodigal son of prediction platforms-has returned to the land of the free (and heavily regulated). This grand re-entrance comes in beta mode, allowing a privileged few to place real bets while the rest of us watch enviously from the sidelines. All this, mind you, after a delightful $1.4 million slap on the wrist from the CFTC and a brief sojourn offshore. The relaunch was made possible by the acquisition of QCX, a CFTC-approved exchange-because nothing says “redemption arc” like buying your way back into legitimacy.

Summary

Was it innovation? Was it divine intervention? Or was it simply that Bitcoin, that capricious golden calf, rose from $61,000 to a dizzying $114,500, transforming every garage-bound miner into a high-flying capitalist angel with a power cord? According to BitFuFu’s earnings report-delivered, one imagines, on parchment rather than PDF-cloud mining brought in $122 million of that fortune. That’s not just profit; that’s a Faustian bargain paying dividends. 😏

Indeed, Circle, purveyors of the aforementioned USDC, are dabbling in the creation of a native token for this ARC contraption – a blockchain geared towards the serious business of enterprises. Launched in October, this testnet seems to have garnered attention… a veritable flock, you might say. 🧐

Ah, the cryptocurrency market. Such promise. Such… volatility. It seems to be experiencing a bit of a downturn, a little… discomfort, shall we say. The investors, naturally, are flustered. Bitcoin and Ethereum, those grand old men of the digital world, have stumbled, lost their footing, and are looking rather sheepish. They say it’s “corrective phase.” I say, it’s just life. 🤷\u200d♀️

Seems some city fellers think this here McRib, comin’ and goin’ like the seasons, has a strange connection to when Bitcoin decides to jump. A real curious thing, it is. Like tryin’ to predict rain by watchin’ a dust devil. 🌪️

🚨JUST IN: @Solana memecoin $POPCAT is experiencing heavy volatility following concerns of possible market manipulation on @HyperliquidX. In the past four hours, $63 million worth of long positions have been liquidated, including a single liquidation worth $21 million, the…

“We are looking at commitments of about $1.4 trillion over the next 8 years,” OpenAI CEO Sam Altman said last week. That figure is almost $200 billion larger than the gross domestic product (GDP) of the Netherlands, a modest European nation that once fancied itself a world power. 🇳🇱