Ethereum, ever the drama queen, couldn’t resist a little tantrum below $2,075 and $2,050. Now it’s in the bearish zone, where the only thing growing faster than the fear is the number of Google searches for “how to cry in crypto.”
Ripple, that most enigmatic of modern alchemists, has conjured a solution to the age-old problem: how to make CFOs feel less like Sisyphus and more like gods. Their latest offering allows one to juggle USD, EUR, XRP, and RLUSD with the grace of a circus performer on espresso. No more spreadsheets! No more reconciling! Just a dashboard so unified, it might make your ex’s Instagram story look cohesive.
In 2023, Premier League clubs, with the grace of reluctant poets, agreed to sever ties with gambling shirt sponsors by 2026/27-a pact now teetering on the edge of a cliff. The UK government, ever the overzealous host, announced on February 23 a consultation to ban unlicensed gambling operators from sponsoring British sports, a move as dramatic as a stagecoach swerving off a precipice. This spring will see them probe the loophole allowing offshore firms to linger like ghosts in the machine.
Ah, the Commodity Futures Trading Commission, that venerable creature of statutes and long-winded regulations, has donned its judicial armor.
Circle, the issuer of USDC, is joining the wrapped Bitcoin token market with its own version called cirBTC, a new hat for the same old crowd.
This is mainly due to flows in the Deribit-listed options market, specifically, a build-up of defensive positioning just below current prices that could result in a slide all the way down to $50,000.
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According to a filing with the Maine Attorney General (because why not cross-state lines for a good breach?), the hospital’s computer network was breached by an “unauthorized party.” Translation: someone with better hacking skills than your average TikTok influencer.
The people of Alabama, with a mixture of bewilderment and a touch of civic pride, have signed a law that admits-though not without suspicion-that decentralized nonprofits are real. Lawmakers, probably after long nights imagining code running society, decided these strange entities deserve legal recognition. Thus, Alabama joins the rarefied air of states daring to chase blockchain dreams while still on terra firma.
James Lavish, the self-proclaimed “macro strategist,” dropped a bombshell: the World Uncertainty Index is now so high, it makes the Great Recession look like a tea party. He cheekily compared it to a global game of Jenga where everyone’s holding their breath and hoping the next move isn’t a tweet from a certain former president. Meanwhile, the U.S. Treasury is staring down $9.7 trillion in maturing debt-because who doesn’t want to refinance $12 trillion in a year?