Cryptonews

Then came the event no less calamitous than an ill-fated Hamlet soliloquy-the U.S. government, in a display of bureaucratic bravado, announced its own form of absurdist theater by shutting down on October 1, 2025, failing to pass the federal budget. The crypto market, much akin to a beast distressed by the roar of thunder, remained poised to froth amid turbulence. The gap in governance promised delays in the awaited regulatory reviews, casting a chill on the nascent hopes of Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs.

The BTC Alpha Fund, crafted in league with the Athenian Starboard Digital, employeth arbitrage strategies to aim for net annual returns of 8%-10%, paid in Bitcoin itself. A fund domiciled in the Cayman Islands, catering to the professional and institutional elite. By converting arbitrage gains into Bitcoin, participants may increase their hoard of coins while still basking in the long-term appreciation of this digital gold. Sygnum doth declare that this product hath already captivated the interest of clients seeking institutional-grade yield options in the realm of digital assets. 📈

It all began with a message, in characters more broken than a dilapidated building of old, from the Chinese X account, blurting out in abject despair: “Behold, followers! Our English guardians (@BNBCHAIN) on X have been compromised! They toil furiously to weave repair, but pray, do not dare to click anything!”

And if you thought October was just about pumpkin spice and haunted houses, think again. October 2025 is gearing up to be a rollercoaster for altcoins, with potential ETF approvals looming like plot twists in a summer blockbuster. Here are five altcoins that might just make you reconsider your boring old savings account:

While some white hats eventually took it upon themselves to steal the funds for temporary safekeeping, many more hesitated over fears that getting involved could land them in prison. 🚔👮♂️

The payments giant, Visa, is announcing this pilot for Visa Direct, their so-called real-time global payments platform. It happened at some Sibos thing in 2025 – who even knows what that is? Anyway, businesses can now prefund these cross-border payments with stablecoins, those cryptocurrencies pretending they’re tied to real money. Ha, stable? Right. 😂

And get this, the shenanigans unraveled back in 2021, but hey, better late than never for our plucky crime-busters. This bad boy’s staring down a potential 20 years behind bars, like a real-life episode of “Law & Order” gone awfully wrong. 🙄

In a twist that could make your head spin faster than a hamster on a wheel, Brock decided to lay down over a million bucks to support none other than New York’s own Mayor Eric Adams-just days before Adams hopped off the political rollercoaster and said, “Adios!” 🏇💸

EURCV, USDCV go live on Morpho Vaults With a bow to modernity and a dash of spectacle, the vaults spring to life, pairs trading is in the air, and liquidity hums like a lute in the hands of a clever servant. SG-FORGE has officially stepped out of the ivory tower and into DeFi’s innovative sphere-where contracts, not clerks, run the purse, and the coffee is metered by gas fees. Parbleu!

The ever-optimistic Mirko Zhao, the founder of Cronos Labs, confirmed this exciting news in a press release on September 30th. The goal? To snatch up some tokenization market share, naturally, by luring developers and making on-chain transaction data accessible via AWS Public Blockchain Data. Seems simple enough, right?