Cryptonews

Stocks, those arrogant show-offs, have printed fresh records, while gold, that glittering diva, crosses $3,900. Bitcoin, meanwhile, lingers in its gilded cage, sipping lukewarm tea. ☕

Ah, the 10-year Treasurys-how they’ve become the new black in risk-averse fashion, with yields plummeting like a Victorian lady fainting at the mention of cryptocurrency. 🚨

According to a press release-doubtless crafted with the precision of a Swiss watch and the subtlety of a sledgehammer-the company is abandoning its monogamous relationship with a single asset in favor of a promiscuous dalliance with a “diversified basket of stablecoins and their associated governance tokens.” Why? Because, in the words of the firm, it seeks to implement a ‘dual-engine’ model for stable yield generation with long-term growth potential. Or, as one might translate, “We’re hedging our bets because the crypto market is as predictable as a cat on catnip.” 🐱

This week, the market took a deep breath and decided to stop pretending it was a rollercoaster. Prices bounced back with the resilience of a sock in a washing machine, according to Bitfinex’s latest report. The exchange claims the crypto world is “consolidating,” which is just a fancy way of saying it’s taking a nap after a tantrum.

Behold, the Treasury Department and IRS, those paragons of clarity, have issued new guidance so convoluted even a lawyer would need a dram of gin to parse it. But fear not! Our hero, Michael Strategy, now dances merrily away from the 15% corporate minimum tax, thanks to his *unrealized* gains on Bitcoin. Aha! The art of counting chickens before they hatch, or rather, before they’re sold.

This initiative, one might argue, is designed to strengthen VisionSys’s finances, boost liquidity, and create long-term value for shareholders-though one suspects the real value lies in the acquisition of Solana (SOL), which, in the grand tradition of speculative ventures, is as reliable as a well-timed pun. The first phase? A mere $500 million in SOL over six months. A modest sum, really, for a company that clearly believes in the alchemy of blockchain. 💸🔮

An ETH price bull flag is in play on the weekly chart, targeting $10,000. Because nothing says “I’m rich” like a technical chart! 📈💰

For the likes of Strategy and Coinbase, this decree is nothing short of divine intervention. Their Bitcoin-laden balance sheets, once clouded by the shadow of fiscal doom, now gleam with the radiance of a thousand ledger entries. Michael Saylor, that high priest of Bitcoin maximalism, can finally sleep without the nightmarish visions of tax collectors at his door. His 640,000 BTC, once a $47 billion gamble, now a $74 billion triumph, remains untaxed-a testament to the absurdity of it all. 🙏💼

Dogecoin has managed to stabilize above critical support levels, thanks to a surge of institutional liquidity. It’s almost like the DOGE buyers are playing a relentless game of defense, holding the $0.229-$0.230 range like a fortress. But, alas, resistance at $0.234 stands tall, preventing any further upward movement. Oh, the drama!

In the late session, momentum seemed to build, yet it remains to be seen whether DOGE can break free from its constraints and soar beyond resistance. Suspense, anyone?

October 1st, 2025 – the day GameMint.fun has been selected to join the Bitcoin.com Accelerator. This marks the first time a platform so refined has entered the world of blockchain. And now, they’ve gone and launched the $GM token sale on Ethereum. Oh, how the times have changed! 😏