Cryptonews

Enter Max Keiser, the crypto oracle with a flair for drama. He’s predicting a new all-time high (ATH) because, apparently, Nasdaq’s filing to expand options contracts for BlackRock’s IBIT is the financial equivalent of a Red Bull for Bitcoin. 🚀 According to Keiser, this 40x surge in derivatives is like giving institutions a supercharger for their leverage and liquidity. “Financial plumbing,” he says. I’m just picturing Wall Street in overalls, fixing pipes. 🛠️💼

And so, the question emerges: Can these digital jesters really pull off a strong comeback in December 2025? Or are we merely witnessing another episode of “Crypto: The NeverEnding Circus,” complete with clowns and questionable acrobatics? Let’s take a closer look, with all the seriousness of a squirrel on a caffeine buzz.

If the next big altcoin wave is on the horizon, this subcategory already has that “I-know-something-you-don’t” vibe. Let’s unravel why!

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Distributed ledger technology, that modern-day scribe, has been enlisted to immortalize fund units in the unyielding stone of Ethereum. CACEIS, the digital Midas, transmutes subscriptions and redemptions into tokens on November 4, like Prometheus lighting a blockchain’s fire. Or perhaps a very serious spreadsheet.

According to reports, the plan involves moving crypto gains from the “savings” tax bracket (where things were gasp relatively reasonable at 30%) into the general income tax base. This is like telling your cat it’s time to stop knocking things over and start knocking things over faster. The result? A 47% tax rate that would make even the most stoic investor question their life choices. 🐱💥

Hark! Attend to a most curious spectacle! \’Tis said that the spirits of the cryptocurrency market, those fickle sprites, are beginning to stir with a semblance of… gaiety! Though Bitcoin doth presently linger below the princely sum of one hundred thousand crowns 🪙, the very air now holds a confidence exceeding that of times when it did trade above such a fortune. A most confounding paradox, is it not?

The bill, a regulatory Frankenstein stitched together from investor fears and government ambition, aims to slap licenses on crypto custodians like ASIC-branded warning labels. Because nothing says “trust us” like a government stamp, right? 🇦🇺

Well, for now – yes. The beast lies wounded. The $0.0139 resistance looms like a fortress guarded by skeptical traders and forgotten memes, and while our hero SHX has charged valiantly, it has not yet breached the gates. But oh, how it tries! With the passion of a man late for a webinar!

In a world where the bumbling bureaucrats in ivory towers decree the ebb and flow of capital, Visa has decided to quiet the quibbling of procedural intricacies, now letting those precious dollars crystalize into USDC. Oh, the grace of digital echoes seeming to outpace flesh-and-blood bankers! Yet, like life under the bureaucratic boots, there’s both hope and a bit of red tape charmingly wrapped in this extension.