Cryptonews

Bolivia is about to embrace cryptocurrency with the enthusiasm of a child on a sugar rush, marking a historic move across Latin America. 🌍💰

The Facts

These GPUs, designed for gaming enthusiasts and crypto miners, are now busy enabling Pyongyang’s trifecta of chaos: cryptocurrency theft, deepfake propaganda, and digital surveillance. One does marvel at the versatility of modern technology! 🎮🔓

Who, you ask, is responsible for this capricious revival? Not you, dear reader. Certainly not the little people. Oh no. It appears we have the usual suspects: the whales. Those magnificent, indifferent beasts of the blockchain, casually shifting fortunes while the rest of us scramble for crumbs. According to some fellow – Crypto Rover, a name that sounds suspiciously like a canine research project – these behemoths are the ones pulling the strings.

Now, as the price teeters precariously above this magical number, the masses cry, “Recovery!” But, dear reader, pause and consider the absurdity of it all. For beneath the surface, the on-chain antics reveal a tale as twisted as a nose in a Gogol novel. The reality, it seems, is as opposite to expectations as a nose on one’s forehead. 🤡🔍

Reece Merrick, Ripple’s Senior Executive Officer and Managing Director for the Middle East and Africa (a title that probably requires its own business card just for the letters), had a little chit-chat on social media platform X (formerly known as Twitter, if we’re still pretending that name hasn’t baffled us all) on Nov. 28. He made it clear that stablecoins are far from being a mere “crypto starter kit” for the new-age speculator. Oh, no-these digital marvels are morphing into actual payment systems. At Ripple, they’re seeing the demand shoot up faster than a rocket strapped to a turbocharger.

To think just weeks ago, investors showered BSOL with enthusiasm, filling its coffers to a colossal $527.9 million-almost enough to buy a small country, or at least a really fancy bicycle. But now? Crickets. Just complete silence, no new money, no fanfare. The day after a streak of high tides, the ocean decided to take a vacation. Typical. 😅

Bitmine, the largest ethereum treasury outfit led by Tom Lee, picked up even more ETH this week, according to onchain movements quietly logged for anyone paying attention.

The People’s Bank of China (PBoC), that august institution, has summoned its brethren-the Ministry of Public Security, the Cyberspace Administration, and other pillars of the state-to a conclave of grave import. Together, they have peered into the murky depths of the crypto markets and declared, with the solemnity of a Confucian sage, that the beast has risen again. Despite the bans, the restrictions, the proclamations of yore, the crypto traders, those wily foxes, have burrowed deeper into the shadows, their schemes more audacious, their scams more cunning. 🦊🕳️

The People’s Bank of China (PBOC) doubled down on this after a November 28 meeting, because nothing says “we’re serious” like a bureaucratic huddle. 🤷‍♂️