Joining the party are BNP Paribas, Citigroup, MUFG, TD Bank, and UBS. Together, they’re cooking up a 1:1 reserve-backed digital money thingamajig on public blockchains. First stop: G7 currencies. Because why not start with the big leagues? 🌍💸
In a rather subtle statement posted online, Trump informed everyone that the US would be imposing a 100% tariff on all Chinese imports starting November 1, citing what he described as Beijing’s “extraordinarily aggressive” move to impose export controls on literally everything they make-because that’s just what the world needs right now. A global trade standoff, right? 🤦♂️
This move, ladies and gentlemen, plonks Luxembourg squarely at the head of the Eurozone class for sovereign fund Bitcoin dabbling, all in the name of that ever-elusive goal: diversification. Because nothing says “smart investing” like hedging your bets on a digital asset that’s been more volatile than a British weather forecast. 🌩️
Floki is apparently hanging out near $0.00009 like it’s a VIP section, getting all the attention from both retail and institutional investors. Analyst Chimp of the North (yes, that’s the name) pointed out that we’ve been here before, my friends. This level? It’s like the secret ‘buy zone’ on the weekly chart. It’s where previous market cycles have bottomed out. Let’s just say it’s a place to “buy low” before the meme coin gods bless us with an uptrend.
According to Bloomberg-those trusty whisperers of Wall Street gossip-Securitize is in “discussions” (read: probably sipping overpriced coffee in a boardroom) to merge with Cantor Equity Partners II Inc. The deal could slap a cool $1 billion+ valuation on Securitize. Not too shabby for a company that’s essentially turning real-world assets into digital Legos. 🧱💸
So, here’s a fun tidbit from Coinpedia: a whopping $1 billion was liquidated after President Trump tweeted his oh-so-wonderful threat to slap even more tariffs on China. I mean, nothing screams “fun” like a trade war, right? 🙄
Bitcoin (BTC), the once-proud king of the digital realm, stumbled 3%, trading below $119k, while Ethereum (ETH), its loyal vassal, plunged over 6%, now languishing around $4.1k. The Dow, that ancient oracle of Wall Street, shed 500 points, settling at 45,908, and the NASDAQ, the tech-laden chariot of progress, slipped 2%, to 22,552. 📉
For those not in the loop, Bankr is the kind of bot that lets you trade crypto by barking simple commands at it, like a digital dog that actually understands “buy Bitcoin” instead of just tilting its head. 🐶 It lives on platforms like X, Farcaster, and Telegram-or at least, it’s supposed to. Its creator, the enigmatic @0xDeployer, took to X to explain that Bankr got the boot from Telegram because it allegedly tripped over their Terms of Service (TOS). 🧾 Oopsie.
Apparently, Bitcoin is now the “digital gold” of the 21st century. 🌟 Who needs actual gold when you can have a string of numbers on a ledger? It’s scarce, they say. Just like my patience for financial jargon. 🙄 Morgan Stanley’s sudden confidence in crypto is like your aunt finally admitting that maybe, just maybe, your vegan lifestyle isn’t a phase. 🌱
In 2025 alone, we’ve watched as billions of dollars vanished into the ether, with exchanges and the fat wallets of wealthy individuals losing more than ever before. It’s like watching a crypto version of the Wild West, except it’s the state-sponsored bandits who have the guns-and the hacking tools.
