Meanwhile, in the shadows of their more illustrious counterparts, the newly minted Solana and XRP ETFs continue their quiet march, attracting steady streams of institutional capital with the unassuming grace of a Turgenev protagonist. 🌱
For the uninitiated, DonAlt is a crypto soothsayer of some repute, recently prophesying a 700% rally for XRP-a token so controversial it’s like predicting a comeback for that dubious cousin who “invented” a blockchain-based teapot. His tweets are treated with the reverence usually reserved for tax returns or the Queen’s Christmas speech.
And now they’re unloading shares? 2.66%! From the core contributors? It’s always the core contributors! It’s like, “Oh, we made a thing, now let us cash out while you people hold the bag.” $344M worth. You think that’s gonna be smooth? Please. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. A slow-motion disaster, maybe, but a disaster nonetheless.
On the 1-hour chart, Bitcoin’s behavior resembled a chap cautiously dipping his toe into a lukewarm bath-hopeful but not entirely convinced. A pivot formed around $90,800 to $91,200, like a butler politely clearing his throat before announcing dinner. Buyers gave the price a gentle shove to $91,629, only to be met with a wall of hesitation just shy of $92,000-proof that traders, much like my Aunt Agatha, are perpetually torn between enthusiasm and suspicion.
Today, Pi Coin (PI) flirted at $0.2500, up nearly 70% from its humble lows, while Bitcoin and Ethereum took a nosedive-a real joy ride, I tell you. 🎢
With ETF inflows climbing faster than a greased pig at a county fair, and long-term holders selling off their tokens like last year’s holiday decorations, traders are now holding their breath-spectacles on, popcorn ready-to see if December can produce its usual miracle or just another snorefest. This analysis dips into XRP’s seasonal history, on-chain behavior, and the most important levels (spoiler: it’s complicated).
The top hundred public treasury companies are now the proud holders of over a million and a bit more Bitcoins, each one a digital nugget of promise. Even J.P. Morgan, that behemoth of banks with dollars as uncanny as a swarm of marauding seagulls, fattened its Bitcoin purse with a $300 million slug from BlackRock’s IBIT. Now, isn’t that a putty in the eye? 🐦💰
Bolivia is about to embrace cryptocurrency with the enthusiasm of a child on a sugar rush, marking a historic move across Latin America. 🌍💰
These GPUs, designed for gaming enthusiasts and crypto miners, are now busy enabling Pyongyang’s trifecta of chaos: cryptocurrency theft, deepfake propaganda, and digital surveillance. One does marvel at the versatility of modern technology! 🎮🔓
